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I am now taking private clients. If you have questions about doing a session, or would like to schedule, please contact me. Most sessions are over Skype or Zoom.

Through my work with individual clients and groups in a professional setting, I have helped many with anxiety, depression, and compulsions, and also in clarifying or stabilizing spiritual openings or awakenings.

My background includes a graduate degree in psychology in addition to being certified in Living Inquiries, Vortex Healing, Tension and Trauma Release Exercises, and Breema bodywork. I have worked on my own healing and awakening process for more than two decades under the guidance of spiritual teachers from a range of different traditions.

Hi P., I just wanted to say thank you for everything. Thank you for the difference you made my life and my recovery. I will never forget you. You were one of the greatest and most influential. You always thought of me and kept me calm when I wanted to jump out of my skin and run for the border.

– Thank you, keep in touch. Breana K.

See more testimonials from clients.

Welcome to Mystery of Existence

Dear reader,

Welcome to Mystery of Existence.

These writings are a record of my own explorations, and will perhaps be of interest to you too.

Feel free to share your insights and comments, or ask questions.

Enjoy 🙂

June 2015 update: I am working on an eBook with a selection of posts from this blog. To help my selection, I have added a rating system. Feel free to rate. Thanks!

November 2015 update: I have the book idea(s) on the back burner for the time due to health and other life circumstances. 

Asap Thought: Dear Lazy People

 

A good summary of some simple ways to (a) align more with reality in order to (b) get things done – or find peace with not doing it.

There are just two elements to it:

Don’t trust your future self. If you are not doing it now, you are not likely to do it tomorrow, or the day after.

Be honest with yourself. Instead of saying I don’t have time or I’ll do it tomorrow, say what’s more true: It’s not a priority to me right now. It can feel harsh but it’s the reality. And the truth shall set us free. It will either motivate us to do it now, or find more peace with not doing it.

I have found these two helpful for myself.

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Emotions are not mutually exclusive

 

I am doing the Finder’s Course in a few weeks and filled out most of the psychological pre-measures today. It was a reminder of how imprecise many questionnaires are.

They make assumptions that may not be shared by the ones taking it, so the results are unreliable.

For instance, one asked me what percent of time I am happy, sad, and neutral. I initially came up with a number far higher than 100% and then had to bring it down to 100%. The reality is that most of the time, and even right now, there is a mix of happiness/contentment, sadness, and neutrality. I would perhaps say 40% happy, 50% content, 50% neutral, and 20% sad.

The questionnaire assume that they are mutually exclusive and asks what percentage of the time I experience one or the other. If I am honest, I would have to say I experience all three most of the time, perhaps 90-95% of the time. To me, it makes far more sense to ask what percentage of each I am experiencing right now.

Being more mature than what your culture requires

 

… you have to think about what it means to actually be more complex than what your culture is currently demanding. You have to have a name for that, too. It’s almost something beyond maturity, and it’s usually a very risky state to be in. I mean, we loved Jesus, Socrates, and Gandhi—after we murdered them. While they were alive, they were a tremendous pain in the ass. Jesus, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Jr.—these people died relatively young. You don’t often live a long life being too far out ahead of your culture.

– Robert Keegan in an interview with What Is Enlightenment? Magazine, cited in Robert Kegan’s Awesome Theory Of Social Maturity by Mark Dombeck

I would add that those who are far ahead of mainstream and publicly seek social change, risk not living a very long life. There are certainly many who are far ahead of mainstream and foucses on facilitating change in other areas of life, such as Adyasanti, and they don’t run the same risk.

Trauma: Stuck as prey or predator animal

 

From nature’s side, we are equally prey and predator. Any time we are in danger of being hurt by another we are in an prey position. And any time we are in a situation where we can hurt or – in theory – kill and eat someone else, we are in a predator position. Each one comes with certain characteristics which aids our survival.

When we are less traumatized, or sometimes if a trauma is not triggered, we have a more relaxed relationship to these two roles. We shift into either when it’s needed, and out of it when the situation changes again.

In contrast, when we are traumatized and the trauma is not cleared or released, we can get stuck in one or both roles. We can perceive and act as if we are permanently prey or predator.

Being able to go into and out of these roles fluidly is a great evolutionary gift. It’s what has allowed our species to survive, and still – even in our modern society – allows us as individuals to survive. (For instance, the prey animal in us may be triggered when we are about to get into a car accident, allowing us to act more quickly by bypassing consicous deliberation and decisions.)

The good thing is that we have ways to release trauma. One of them is even built into our bodies in the form of neurogenic tremors. (Tension and Trauma Release Exercises is a way for us to access this mechanism.)

This topic came to mind since I have been interacting with horses lately. I have been very aware of them perceiving and acting as prey animals, as they are. And although I see them as partners and equals as beings, I am in a predator position (control). Horses have only one role, but humans shift between either.

This topic has also come to mind when I see Trump. I imagine he is pretty traumatized, and he may be stuck in perceiving himself as prey (fearful) and acting as a predator (dominance, power oriented) in order to compensate for it.

The photo is of Niki after having had a roll in the snow. She is relaxed since she is not perceiving any current threats and is not actively in a prey role, although she can shift into it at any moment if the situation calls for it.

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Keeping the big picture in mind

 

A recent survey asked “All things considered, do you think the world is getting better or worse, or neither getting better nor worse?”. In Sweden 10% thought things are getting better, in the US they were only 6%, and in Germany only 4%. Very few people think that the world is getting better.

What is the evidence that we need to consider when answering this question? The question is about how the world has changed and so we must take a historical perspective. And the question is about the world as a whole and the answer must therefore consider everybody. The answer must consider the history of global living conditions – a history of everyone.

– from A history of global living conditions in 5 charts by Max Roser

It’s important to keep the big picture in mind, especially with a media that tends to narrowly focus on what doesn’t work. In this case, the bigger picture is how the human condition has changed over the last two centuries. It’s equally important to make decisions for future generations, and

It’s equally important to make decisions for future generations. And to see ourselves in the context of the history of the Universe as a whole. We are – quite literally – the universe expressing, experiencing and exploring itself. Remembering that gives a sense of awe and is amazing, exciting, and sobering.

Mimicking other treatments in Vortex Healing

 

Vortex Healing is performed by a divine intelligence using divine energy, and this intelligence is able to mimic other forms of energy treatments. I was skeptical about this (all of it!) before I tried it myself, but now that I have received and given a good number of sessions, I see that it works, and it works very well.

This morning, I was sitting outside enjoying the snow and the sun and I gave myself a Five Element Acupuncture treatment using Vortex Healing. And it really feels like a good Five Element treatment, both during and after.The effect is as strong or stronger, and the main difference is that it seems to work faster.

Norway and oil

 

Since my teens, it’s been obvious to me that Norway needs to invest money from oil into research and development in renewable energy technology. That way, Norway has (had?) a chance to be at the forefront also in the age of renewable energy. They didn’t, and the age of oil is really already over. It’s not too late, although the current government don’t seem to be very reality based on this topic.

It’s hard for me to understand. They have the opportunity to create a graceful transition from an oil-based economy to a renewable technology one. They have the opportunity to let Norway be in the forefront of the new age of renewable energy. And they don’t. Instead, they pretend we are still in the age of oil and they miss a golden opportunity.

Intuition

 

Here are a few things I have noticed about intuition:

When I follow my intuition in small things, it becomes a habit and I learn to trust it more. That makes it easier to follow it in bigger things or when fear makes it more challenging.

Following my guidance or not is an experiment in either case. If I do it in this situation, what happens? If I don’t do it in this situation, what happens? Make a note of it.

When I am guided to do something I am scared to do, a few things may happen.

(a) I may follow it anyway, in spite of the fear.

(b) I may meet the fear, question the scary stories behind it, find kindness and love for the fear, and then see if it’s easier to act on my guidance.

(c) Or I may follow the fear and not the guidance.

In either case, I get to see what happens.

What I have noticed when I follow my guidance or inner knowing is that things tend to fall into place. And if I don’t, then the opposite often happens.

I am using intuition here synonymous with inner guidance, inner knowing, or the small quiet voice.

No dogma? And the gifts of bias

 

A supported daily spiritual practice that allows intuition to flourish, with no form or dogma.

I read this in an interview online, and – predictably – it set off a couple of alarm bells for me.

We all have biases. As soon as we deny it, at least if we deny it to ourselves, they go into the shadow and operate without our conscious awareness.

So it makes more sense to just admit the obvious: We all have biases, it’s unavoidable, and it’s actually a good thing. We couldn’t function without it, and it adds to the richness of society and our human experience.

Where does bias come from? It’s the same as conditioning and comes from the the history and evolution of the universe (and us), the functions and structures of this universe, the history and evolution of this solar system and Earth, the history and evolution of this living Earth and our ancestors, the history of human culture and our own specific culture, social norms and perspectives, family history and views, and our own personal experience. All of this makes up our biases and conditioning. It makes us experience ourselves and life a certain way and have certain perspectives and preferences.

As mentioned above, it’s what allows us to function. And it’s what creates the richness of how the universe experiences itself through life, humans, and this one particular human.

Finally, I am aware that I may have used a straw man argument here. The interviewee may very well be aware of what I wrote about. He may just have used an informal way of saying “I intend to follow intuition and be influenced less by any conscious or intentional dogma. Even if I know I – obviously – have preferences and habits that inform where attention goes, how I perceive, and how I operate in the world”.

Trump reflections IV

 

Continued from previous posts.

Inclusiveness. I tend to judge policies and politicians less in terms of how liberal or conservative they are, and more on how inclusive and life-centered they are. There are policies and politicians of any flavor that take a more inclusive and life-centered approach. They sincerely wish society as a whole, and all segments within it, to flourish. And if they have a larger perspective, they also include nature and future generations. (Also because that’s enlightened self-interest. It’s to our benefit here and now to do so.)

That’s why it’s so hard for me to understand why people would support Trump. He is someone who so obviously is in it for himself and to increase profit for people like himself, at the expense of everyone else – including the less wealthy, nature, and future generations.

Of course, people may be mislead, and they may have wanted to vote for him out of reactiveness and pain. And still, from the beginning, it was so clear that he is in it for himself and that a vote for him was a vote for policies not in their own interest. At least not in the short term. Who knows what will come out of it in the longer term. His term may be such a blatant disaster that enough people come to their senses and support more sensible solutions.

Solution focus. I have always favored a partner-oriented and solution focused approach to our serious problems. It’s the only approach that makes sense to me. It’s what exciting and energizing, and what creates a life we want to live – for ourselves and society as a whole.

Of course, we need to focus on the problems in order to understand them and find a strategy to create what we want. But if we focus only or mainly on the problems, it tends to be very discouraging and lead to burn-out.

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Using spare attention for noticing, resting, healing

 

Through the day, there are many periods where I have spare attention. It may be after I wake up and am still in bed, before falling asleep, when I walk, shower or cook, when I use public transportation, when I rest, and so on.

During these periods, I often use my spare attention intentionally. I may notice what’s here – sensations, thoughts, sight, sound, taste, smell. I may intentionally rest with – or as – what’s here. Nowadays I often use Vortex Healing for myself or others. And in the past (going back to my teens), I have often used heart prayer (Jesus prayer), ho’oponopono, or tonglen.

Sometimes, I just let the mind do what it does in the moment and gently notice it.

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Jeff Foster: No emotion is a mistake

 

Awakening is not about deleting or transcending human emotions, for how would the ocean transcend a single wave, and how would the sun transcend one of its beloved sunbeams? It’s about seeing that every emotion – from joy to despair, bliss to boredom, agony to ecstasy – is only a movement of life energy, actually a movement of yourself, a wave in your vastness. No emotion is a threat, an enemy, or a punishment. Every emotion is an invitation to remember your vastness, rest in your oceanic nature. You are on a pathless path of radical inclusion, friend, and there are no mistakes here.

– Jeff Foster

Brian Eno: 2016/2017

 

2016/2017

The consensus among most of my friends seems to be that 2016 was a terrible year, and the beginning of a long decline into something we don’t even want to imagine.

2016 was indeed a pretty rough year, but I wonder if it’s the end – not the beginning – of a long decline. Or at least the beginning of the end….for I think we’ve been in decline for about 40 years, enduring a slow process of de-civilisation, but not really quite noticing it until now. I’m reminded of that thing about the frog placed in a pan of slowly heating water…

This decline includes the transition from secure employment to precarious employment, the destruction of unions and the shrinkage of workers’ rights, zero hour contracts, the dismantling of local government, a health service falling apart, an underfunded education system ruled by meaningless exam results and league tables, the increasingly acceptable stigmatisation of immigrants, knee-jerk nationalism, and the concentration of prejudice enabled by social media and the internet.

This process of decivilisation grew out of an ideology which sneered at social generosity and championed a sort of righteous selfishness. (Thatcher: “Poverty is a personality defect”. Ayn Rand: “Altruism is evil”). The emphasis on unrestrained individualism has had two effects: the creation of a huge amount of wealth, and the funnelling of it into fewer and fewer hands. Right now the 62 richest people in the world are as wealthy as the bottom half of its population combined. The Thatcher/Reagan fantasy that all this wealth would ‘trickle down’ and enrich everybody else simply hasn’t transpired. In fact the reverse has happened: the real wages of most people have been in decline for at least two decades, while at the same time their prospects – and the prospects for their children – look dimmer and dimmer. No wonder people are angry, and turning away from business-as-usual government for solutions. When governments pay most attention to whoever has most money, the huge wealth inequalities we now see make a mockery of the idea of democracy. As George Monbiot said: “The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the purse is mightier than the pen”.

Last year people started waking up to this. A lot of them, in their anger, grabbed the nearest Trump-like object and hit the Establishment over the head with it. But those were just the most conspicuous, media-tasty awakenings. Meanwhile there’s been a quieter but equally powerful stirring: people are rethinking what democracy means, what society means and what we need to do to make them work again. People are thinking hard, and, most importantly, thinking out loud, together. I think we underwent a mass disillusionment in 2016, and finally realised it’s time to jump out of the saucepan.

This is the start of something big. It will involve engagement: not just tweets and likes and swipes, but thoughtful and creative social and political action too. It will involve realising that some things we’ve taken for granted – some semblance of truth in reporting, for example – can no longer be expected for free. If we want good reporting and good analysis, we’ll have to pay for it. That means MONEY: direct financial support for the publications and websites struggling to tell the non-corporate, non-establishment side of the story. In the same way if we want happy and creative children we need to take charge of education, not leave it to ideologues and bottom-liners. If we want social generosity, then we must pay our taxes and get rid of our tax havens. And if we want thoughtful politicians, we should stop supporting merely charismatic ones.

Inequality eats away at the heart of a society, breeding disdain, resentment, envy, suspicion, bullying, arrogance and callousness. If we want any decent kind of future we have to push away from that, and I think we’re starting to.

There’s so much to do, so many possibilities. 2017 should be a surprising year.

– Brian

Dream: Interviewing Bernie Sanders

 

I am interviewing Bernie Sanders and although it’s going well, I am not satisfied. There is no new information or angles and I notice I feel bored.

He has a beloved pet cricket, and it comes to me that his relationship to his pet cricket perfectly represents a healthy and sustainable relationship to nature, each other, and future generations.

I chose to focus on that parallel and now feel alive and engaged in the interview.

I am not sure what this dream has to tell me. Maybe to pay attention to how my relationship to what appears insignificant mirror my relationship to myself, others, nature, and life?

I do see Sanders as the type of person we need if we are to create a more life-centered and sustainable society, and as an inspiration for myself.

How we frame

 

After deciding to work on it more intentionally, a particular issue has been more on the surface recently.

The most basic way of framing it is as something I can explore, rest with, and find healing for. I can relate to it more intentionally, notice what’s there, do Vortex Healing on it, and perhaps do some simple inquiry.

In the slightly bigger picture, I can frame it as something that comes up to be seen, felt, explored, and healed. It’s from my past – whether this life, ancestral, or from past lives – and it’s now coming up with an invitation for it to be met with kindness, rested with, allowed as is, and possibly for it to heal and release.

It can be helpful to frame it as similar to a creature – a being – that comes and wants what we all want: To be seen, allowed, respected, and treated with kindness. And then possibly be met with a gentle curiosity, and – if it wishes – find healing and release from its suffering.

This way of framing is not “true” or not. It’s just a pragmatic way of relating to what comes up. It helps me relate to it more intentionally, to release some identification as it, and it feels more comfortable to me than most other ways of relating to it (for instance struggling with it or identifying as it).

Note: What’s been coming up has to do with the collapse that happened when I got CFS a few years back. It was a collapse at all levels, and smaller versions of it happen if I haven’t had enough food combined with some disappointment (only lasting the same day). It comes with a sense of hopelessness and is connected to a victim identity. It feels old and was buried for a long time but is now up so it can be met with kindness and perhaps find healing.

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Carrie Fisher: Embracing our flaws

 

Carrie Fisher famously embraced her flaws with honesty, humor, and fierceness. She was loved for it, and even made a career out of it.

There are two ways of embracing our flaws. We can do it in a heavy-handed way from being caught up in related identities (victim, guilt, shame, blame). Or we can do it with humor, a bit more distance, and a lighter touch. The more open we are about it, the more we are aware of the identifications and beliefs around it, and the more we have explored these identifications and beliefs, the easier it is to have humor and a lighter touch.

Also, the more we share and explore, the easier it is to see and feel that we are all in the same boat. And that too eases identification and invites a lighter touch.

Carrie Fisher died yesterday. I have enjoyed watching interviews with her, and now also listening to her audio books.

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Approaching from different sides

 

In Vortex Healing, we work divine consciousness and energy so it’s easier – as far as I can tell – to work on consciousness and energetic issues.

In our western civilization, we are identified with and as matter and have developed techniques, tools, and understanding to work with physical issues (engineering, surgery etc.) so it’s easier to work on physical issues.

These are two ways of approaching reality and they complement each other very well.

This came to mind since some things are relatively straight forward to work on with Vortex Healing, but may seem impossible or nearly impossible to work on from the perspective of conventional western culture.

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Trump reflections III

 

Continued from two previous posts.

Short memory. I can’t help thinking that what we see today – Trump becoming president and what he promotes gaining momentum in the western world – is allowed to happen only because people have short memories. They have already forgotten, or perhaps not really learned, about Hitler and WW2. They don’t know what mass scale intolerance, leaders acting on emotional reactivity, and rule by the financial elite, leads to. Only the oldest still have a personal memory, and in countries with poor education – such as the US – people haven’t learned the lessons thoroughly enough through school or the media.

That’s also why some of his supporters said “what do we have to lose?” when what they have to lose is a great deal. At least from the outside, it seems they don’t realize what they have to lose, or are educated well enough to know it viscerally. They don’t seem to have the larger historical picture.

This not the reason it happened, but it’s the reason it was allowed to happen: Those who still personally remember are too few to have a significant impact, and past lessons are too remote for a large enough segment of the population.

Diagnosing. I am not a fan of diagnosing anyone in public or at a distance. It’s unprofessional and can too easily be used to attack the person rather than addressing the issues. In Trump’s case, his very public behavior is enough to disqualify him from any position of leadership.

In a political context, there is no need to try to figure out the deeper why’s and how’s of his behavior. It’s only a distraction.

Trauma behavior. Still, in a psychological context, it can be interesting to explore what may be going on, knowing that it’s not really possible to diagnose at a distance. Being familiar with trauma behavior from working with clients and studies, I recognize what seems like trauma behavior. (Reacitvity, impulsivity, intolerance, dehumanizing others, recklessness, thin skinned, vengeance, short sightedness, not caring if what he says is true or not as long as he gets what he wants.) Trump seems to have made living from these trauma symptoms a badge of honor which only makes it more dangerous.

Repeating traumas. People who are traumatized tend to get themselves into situations where they repeat the trauma. They get themselves into those situations because it’s a familiar pattern. (It feels familiar and comfortable at some level, and they act from the trauma which creates similar situations as the initial traumatic situation.) And it’s also an invitation to recognize the trauma and seek healing for it. Some of Trump’s supporters may support him because his trauma behavior is familiar to them from their families and their own life.

More importantly, they may support him because they have had to suppress their own most destructive reactive trauma behavior due to social pressure and expectation, and here is someone who acts it out in public and, in essence, says “it’s OK to live and act from destructive reactive trauma behavior”. It can feel liberating for them to see it, and then use it to allow themselves to live more openly from their own trauma pain. Or, more precisely, act from their reactivity to their trauma pain which can take the form of anger, blame, bigotry, overly simplistic solutions, not caring about facts, and so on. It can feel good in the short run, but it’s definitely destructive in the longer run. In this case, it’s destructive on a large scale.

Said another way, it can feel good for them to say “fuck you” to the elite, but in this case, they only hurt themselves.

Action and compassion. This is pretty obvious. We can strongly oppose Trump’s policies, call him out when he is spreading untruths, and support what we want to see in the world. At the same time, it’s fully possible to have compassion for him and his pain. His pain is quite evident. He wouldn’t act the way he does if he wasn’t acting on his own pain. And we can have compassion and seek to understand his supporters. The two go hand in hand. They even support each other. (Strong action makes it easier to find compassion, and compassion leads to more clear and strong action.)

Disruption. In a bigger picture, who knows what will come out of this. In an evolutionary context, disruption often leads to new traits in existing species, new species gaining momentum, and a new course for evolution. The early oxygen crisis led to new opportunities for life. Dinosaurs dying out created space for mammals to flourish. Who knows what a Trump presidency will lead to in the bigger picture. It may or may not be what many of us wish for or would have chosen, but it may be something we can appreciate the gifts in.

Integral view. Life is a whole and we look at it from different angles. That means it’s good to look at anything from multiple angles to get a fuller picture, while also knowing that none, nor all of them together, is a final or absolute truth. If we want to be more systematic about it, we can use an integral model or map such as Ken Wilber’s. This is also true when we look at the Trump situation. Some of the “default” angles for me include: (a) The big picture. Lila. It’s the play of life or the divine.

Some of the “default” angles for me include:

(a) The big picture.

(i) Lila. It’s the play of life or the divine.

(ii) We don’t know what will come out of it. Historically and evolutionarily, disruptions often lead to something we find valuable and attractive, at least in the longer run. (iii) It’s an opportunity for each of us to live what we want to see in the world.

(iii) It’s an opportunity for each of us to live what we want to see in the world.

(b) Social/political. One of the reasons we have Brexit and Trump is neoliberal corporate globalization, international agreements aimed at maximizing profit for multinational corporations at the expense of people, nature, and future generations. People see this and know it’s wrong. And, unfortunately, the Democrats chose a candidate that embodies this misguided approach.

(c) Psychological. Trump and some of his supporters seem to act from reactivity to trauma pain. Their views and behavior are classic trauma symptoms. Hurt people can be reckless and hurt themselves and other people.

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Complementary medicine

 

I like the term “complementary medicine”. It implies a pragmatic and inclusive approach to health and well being.

Common sense implies that we use a combination of approaches to our health. I’ll go to a regular doctor for any serious or potentially serious health issue. And I’ll also use whatever else makes sense to me, whether it’s herbs prescribed by an herbalist, acupuncture, Breema, diet, nature, or Vortex Healing.

So if anyone comes to me for – for instance – Vortex Healing, and they have a serious health issue, I would always encourage them to go to a medical specialist and follow their advice. That’s not something I would say (only) for legal reasons, but because it makes sense. It’s integral to giving them the best chances for recovery.

Insulted by reality

 

A friend asked on Facebook: “Why are some insulted by ‘happy holidays’?”.

As far as I understand, some Christians are insulted by any acknowledgment that others don’t share their religion. In other words, they are insulted by reality. That’s putting it harshly but also – as far as I can tell – accurately.

Dream: Martin Luther King, and a blind bus driver

 

I was in Oakland and Martin Luther King was giving a speech at a church. He hadn’t been seen in public for decades. I came early, and was shown a secret entrance to the area where he was going to speak from. I was almost next to him. It turned out he didn’t give a speech but had us all do something practical for the community instead. Everyone were genuinely delighted. Afterwards, I got a ride with a blind black bus driver. The ride went well and I thought it was great that blind people could drive.

This dream had the luminous sense some dreams have, and nearly the qualities of what Jung called a “big” dream. It was amazing to get to be close to Martin Luther King, especially since he had been out of the public eye for so long. (Of course, the reason – in waking life – is that he has been dead for that long. But he wasn’t dead in the dream.) I really liked that instead of talking, as everyone expected him to, he had us all do something practical for the community instead. We were all surprised and delighted by it at the same time. It was also great to get a ride with a blind bus driver! (Again, in waking life that may happen in not too long with self-driving cars and buses.)

Day residue: A couple of days ago, I read that when Martin Luther King died, he had the heart of a sixty year old (he was early fourties), most likely from the stress. It was a reminder that people like him do what they do in spite of the fear and discomfort, not because they don’t experience any. Also, have spent the last several weeks in the Bay Area which is probably why this happened in Oakland.

Finally, as I write this, I hope that Trump will stimulate more people like Martin Luther King to come forward, and that many of us can find that in us like him and live from it – at whatever scale it may be.

Why we feel lighter

 

Why do we sometimes feel lighter? For instance, if something desirable happens, or we have a release through inquiry, Vortex Healing, TRE, or something else?

Stressful beliefs (identifications, trauma) come with muscle contractions. In order to believe a thought, the thought has to be associated with sensations, and these sensations give the thought a sense of substance and reality. The thought feels true. The easiest way to have these sensations readily available is through muscle contractions. So when the mind needs to believe a thought, it contracts associated muscles to provide sensations, and these in turn give the thoughts a sense of solidity and reality. These muscle contractions feel dense and heavy. We – almost literally – feel the weight of our stressful beliefs or identifications.

So when we are either distracted from these stressful beliefs, or they are released, there is a sense of lightness. The muscle contractions lighten up or go away, so we feel lighter.

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Deeply healing one issue will tend to impact other areas

 

Everything is connected. And, really, everything is movements within the same seamless whole.

This evening, I used Vortex Healing to prevent kidney stones. (I had an experience with it about ten years ago.) I noticed the energy working in the kidneys first, then moving up the spine and higher in the chest, and then working in the belly. (There was a lot releasing there, judging from all the physical movement). There was a clear sense that the belly healing and releasing had to do with preventing kidney stones. And a reminder that deeply healing one issue includes healing underlying issues which in turn may have several surface manifestations. In this case, I had the sense that healing the underlying issue of the kidney stones also meant healing an aspect of my belly and digestive issues.

Awakening

 

This is a pretty standard way of talking about awakening, at least from those who have had a taste of it.

Awakening is the divine waking up to itself as all there is without exception, and still functioning through and as this human self.

It’s the divine waking up to itself, or consciousness, or Brahman, or Big Mind, waking up to itself as all there is.

It wakes up from the previous trance, or identification, or believable filter, of being this human self.

And this human self still very much functions as before, operating and doing things in the world, although now from this new context. Sensory input is still from this human self. There is still “internal information” – in the form of thoughts and sensory input – from this human self. And to all the world, it still looks like we “are” this human self.

As somebody said, no human has ever woken up. It’s always what we really are that wakes up to itself while still connected to this particular human self. And the human self then functions in a new context.

This awakening can be more or less deep and wide. As more core sense of I or identification goes, it goes deeper. And as more and more of our human self is included (healed and aligned with this new context), it goes wider. It can also be more or less lasting. The areas that lack depth or width tend to retrigger identification, which is just a reminder that there is further to go and more to explore, clear, and heal. Often, there is a series of openings which support this deepening and widening.

He should know better

 

Research shows the people who score lower on intelligence tend to judge others based on what they are born into (gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion) while people who score higher tend to judge based on “they should know better”.

Is it true, they should know better? Let’s try a couple of examples.

Trump should know better. What are some examples of the reverse? He may be mislead by Fox News, Breitbart, and similar sources. He may do what he does as a conscious strategy or even an accidental strategy that has worked for him in the past. (To distract, appeal to reactive emotions etc.) He may act from a reckless personality. He may act from wounds and trauma. He may not be put together quite right from birth.

Trump supporters should know better. Again, they may be mislead by Fox News, Breitbart, Trump, friends, and family. They may be less informed. Their education may not be very good or thorough. They may agree with some or all of what he says, for whatever reason. They may think that what he says will reflect what he does. (In reality, he speaks as if he is for the “ordinary guy” while he is in it for himself and his wealthy friends.) From biology or experience, they may not be so interested in the big picture or in doing thorough research before making a decision. And they too may act from hurt and trauma.

I can find many reasons why they shouldn’t know better. There are infinite reasons for why they see the world and act the way they do. I can always find one more reason. In that sense, it’s the universe as a whole acting through them and as them.

That’s the case for me too. When I look at them and myself, I can find understanding and empathy by seeing these infinite causes. And at the same time, in the case of myself, I am also completely responsible for my own views and actions.

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Hangups take a lot of energy

 

Hangups take a lot of energy.

What is a hangup in this context?

A hangup is the same as an identification which means identifying with the viewpoint of a thought or story so we perceive the world through that lens. We “become” that viewpoint and live our life as if we are that viewpoint. We perceive and act as if we are it.

It’s the same as taking a thought as true, real, and substantial.

It’s the same as velcro. Thoughts and sensations that seem “stuck” together so the sensations give the thoughts a sense of substance and reality and the thoughts give meaning to the sensations.

A hangup comes from trauma when trauma is broadly defined. A hangup is something the mind seeks refuge and safety in, and it does so out of care or love, and out of unexamined and unloved fear. And that comes from and is trauma.

Why do hangups take energy?

Hangup takes mental energy since the mind tends to be drawn to looping thoughts relating to the topic of the hangup.

They take emotional energy due to the underlying fear which is either dormant, chronically low grade, or triggered.

And hangups take physical energy since they require muscle contractions to exist. The only way we can have a hangup (or identity, belief, trauma) is for sensations to lend substance to the related thoughts, and the only way the mind can have easy access to these sensations is through muscle contraction. If the hangup is chronic, the related muscle contraction will be chronic. If it is triggered more sporadically, the obvious muscle contractions will be more sporadic as well, although there will tend to be a low-grade chronic muscle contraction.

What happens when a hangup is released?

When a hangup is released, there is often a sense of lightness, relief, and more available energy. For instance, we may have an impulse to start or engage with a project that’s meaningful to us but we didn’t have the energy or motivation to spend much time on before.

In some cases, the release of a hangup may feel a bit confusing or even a let-down, but even here the longer term result is a sense of lightness (from reduced muscle contractions) and access to more energy.

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Vortex Healing for my brain

 

Some years ago, I received several diksha sessions that were very powerful. They led to samadhi during meditation and a non-dual type awakening where any sense of separate self fell away. This lasted for about six months and was followed by CFS and a collapse at all levels. During the early CFS phase, I noticed a sense of energetic emptiness in the forehead and temporal area. It has gradually filled in as I gradually healed and got stronger again.

When I encountered Vortex Healing about ten months ago, I noticed the energy worked a great deal in my forehead area. It did when I received the first sessions. It did in the weeks before and during my first vortex class. And it worked on my forehead area whenever I ran vortex for several weeks or perhaps even months. After my second class, the energy has worked on my forehead whenever I use the global healing grid – whether it’s for another or myself. Just now, I received a vortex session on the collapse, and the energy worked very strongly on my forehead and temporal lobes during the whole session and after.

My sense is that the diksha did something to my temporal lobes especially which led to the awakening and the following collapse. Vortex Healing seems to work a lot on healing whatever happened. (It’s also possible that my life situation, and going against my knowing on an ongoing and major life decision, contributed to the collapse and the energetic emptiness in that part of my head and brain.)