I wanted to explore these islands of density a little further.

What are they made up of? I find sensations and an overlay of images. And these images include images of a location in space, an outline of the islands - roughly defining their shape and size, and labels and interpretations of these islands. And also images of a me with certain identities and viewpoints, relating to these images in certain ways depending on how they fit with these identities and viewpoints. Images of a doer acting in certain ways. And an image of an observer observer all of this.

read on…

tagged: beliefs, identification, inquiry, islands, stories   » leave a reply   -  

My experience since the initial awakening is that “everything” is insubstantial and awareness itself. Whatever I see is God.

But this “everything” is only a rough everything. It leaves something out: smaller islands of density.

These function as anchors for a sense of I located in space, on sensations, and created through an overlay of images. There is a sense of a doer and observer located in and around the head area, located on sensations there (in my case and right now, created through a slight muscle tension in the upper neck and through the tongue slightly pressing against the back and upper part of my mouth), with an overlay of images of a doer and observer, images displacing some of those sensations so the sense of an observer is more around and outside of the head, and - crucially - images and stories telling me that is what I am.

read on…

tagged: beliefs, currently, inquiry, islands, sense fields   » leave a reply   -  

This post started as a play with the different theist labels (atheist, non-theist, theist, pantheist, panentheist etc.) and how they all describe aspects of how I relate to the world. They all fit, in their own way.

Playing with stories in that way can be instructive. I can find how they each have validity for me so I don’t get (too) stuck in any one of them, and then do the same with the many possible stories holding them all. I can notice some of the dynamics going on around these stories and the ways I apply and live from them. I can explore how and when each of these stories seem helpful as a guide for attention and action. I can notice how I tend to play with stories in un-conventional ways, finding the truth in them for me in that way, and also am free to use them in conventional ways - and usually do - when I talk with others.

read on…

tagged: inquiry, stories, talking about   » leave a reply   -  

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.
~A.A. Milne

Even a simple Pooh quote is a question and invitation for investigation.

When anticipating eating honey, it is easy to see that the joy of sweet anticipation is all in the mind. If we like honey, that is.

read on…

tagged: anticipation, beliefs, future, inquiry, past, present, stories, thoughts, three times, winnie the pooh   » leave a reply   -  

I am finally getting around to listen to some of the talks of Shinzen Young, and it is easy to understand why I have heard universally good things about him. He seems very clear, and has a very comfortable “human packaging” as well.

tagged: buddhism, shinzen young, zen   » leave a reply   -  

One of the functions of practice is to allow beliefs to surface.

The practice asks something of me, it may clash with certain beliefs I have, and that triggers these beliefs so I can more easily notice them and take them to inquiry.

read on…

tagged: beliefs, inquiry, practice, the work   » leave a reply   -  

I can’t take a year off. (And live at the cabin by the lake, or the one in the mountains.)

read on…

tagged: own inquiry   » leave a reply   -  

Stories have only temporary and practical value. (Temporary, limited and practical value, appropriate to some situations and not other. This too can easily become a belief. What happens if it does?)

read on…

tagged: own inquiry   » leave a reply   -  

The Work is most commonly done some time after a situation has triggered a belief.

And as we get more familiar with the process, it can happen in the situation as well, either intentionally or on its own.

I may notice one or more of the symptoms of attaching to a viewpoint as true, including a sense of unease, stress, tension, reactivity, or a sense of having to protect a viewpoint or identity. These symptoms can be at higher or lower volume, but their taste remains the same.

Depending on what comes up first, or seems most helpful in the situation, I can then engage with one or more of the five steps of The Work.

read on…

tagged: inquiry, the work   » leave a reply   -  

What we are seems weird only because of expectations, our habit of taking ourselves to be a human being, an object in the world with identities and roles.

From within awakening, it looks different. Here, what is weird is that we (temporarily) take ourselves to be just that, and can stand to live with all that comes with it. (Reactivity, isolation, a closed view and heart, a lack of trust in existence.)

read on…

tagged: expectations, who and what we are   » leave a reply   -  

Awakening is an awakening out of stories, and that includes whatever guidelines (if any) used to invite in the awakening. As Gautama Buddha said, the teachings are a boat designed to get you over to the other side. No need to carry it with you after you land.

This is good advice at any phase of the process, whether it is before or within awakening.

And it is also good advice when the veils are thinning, since attachment to teachings as true may be among the last identifications. There may be an identification with the viewpoint of these teachings and all that comes with it, including dentification as content of experience, and as an I with an other.

read on…

tagged: beliefs, maps, model, stories, teachings   » leave a reply   -  

Prayers continues to be an important thread in my life…

Sometimes with words and visualization, sincerely wishing all good for others (without exception) and myself.

Sometimes with words, asking for guidance and to be shown the way.

Sometimes visualizing Christ (or Buddha) in my heart and in front, behind, on each side and below and above me. (Christ meditation.)

read on…

tagged: heart, inquiry, prayer, shikantaza   » leave a reply   -  

Live up to your attainment with care.
- Sixth Patriarch

Here is yet another way to appreciate this quote….

When I inquire into a belief and find what is more true for me, can I live up to those insights with care?

Can I notice the symptoms of again attaching to the story as true? What did I find when I inquired into it intially, and how would it be to live from those insights here and now? What happens if I live one or more of the turnarounds in this situation? What do I find if I explore it again, here now, in a fresh way?

read on…

tagged: koans, the work, zen   » leave a reply   -  

Live up to your attainment with care.
- Sixth Patriarch

A few more things about this….

I can use a more yang or yin approach to live up to my attainment with care. A yang approach may be: don’t not allow yourself to fall into old patterns. (Don’t think you are absolutely right, protect a viewpoint etc.) While a yin approach may be to simply notice the symptoms of identifying with a viewpoint, and then find what is more true for me. Can I find the freedom to use one or the other, or both, depending on what seems most helpful in the situation?

Also, living up to your attainment means to live with integrity, to live from absolute and relative truths. When I live from relative truths, I live in ways that seem the most sane, mature, wise and kind, even in a conventional sense. And living from absolute truth is to remind myself of what I really am, and that there is no absolute truth inherent in any story or viewpoint. I use stories as practical guidelines for attention and action, chose the stories that seem the most helpful and appropriate in the situation, in the context of don’t know.

read on…

tagged: awakening, koans, who and what we are, zen   » leave a reply   -  

Live up to your attainment with care.
- Sixth Patriarch

In this koan (see the full text below), Myo awakened. (Reality awakened to itself, awakened from temporarily taking itself to be Myo.)

And after awakening, there is the process of living from it with care. It can easily be obscured, and that happens as soon as we take any story as true or identify with any viewpoint.

As Byron Katie says, we are awakened - or not - to a thought. The thought that is here now.

read on…

tagged: awakening, byron katie, koans, stories, zen   » leave a reply   -  

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
- 2 Corinthians, 12:9

This is another beautiful pointer from the New Testament.

When I recognize my weakness, through and through, there is receptivity for God’s grace. Said another way, when I am less full of myself, there is more room for God.

I can recognize my weakness in innumerable ways. My human self is dependent on support from people close to me, society, ecosystems, the earth as a whole, the solar system and the unviverse as a whole. Without all of this, no human self. Even what I tend to take credit for - such as skills, insights, choices and actions - are gifts, given to me through experience, culture, biology, ancestors, the earth, the universe. I try to control my life and circumstances, but can only do it to a very limited extent. My days are numbered, and I can die this very moment. I aim at following precepts and guidelines, and fail miserably. I aim at living from what I really am, and fail miserably. There is no end to the weakness of this human self.

And I can also recognize my weakness as a doer and observer. When I explore the doer and observer, I find that they are only images. And also that the doer takes credit for shifts, insights, choices and actions after they have happened. This is the real, 100%, weakness of what I take myself to be.

read on…

tagged: bible, devotion, grace, inquiry   » leave a reply   -  

Over the last few weeks, I have woken up with a quiet clear voice nudging me to ask a particular person for assistance. Since it didn’t quite fit with the preferences of my personlity, I have ignored it and put it off as much as I could, until today when I woke up with the same voice and finally acted on it.

I am familiar with that quiet clear voice, and when I act on it, it always feels right even if it does sometimes go against the preferences of my personality.

The voices of beliefs have a certain quality of compulsiveness and fear. Yet this voice has a very different quality, and it’s advice is always sane, wise and kind even when it seems a little odd at times, and when I act on it, the outcome is sane and kind as well.

I also notice that if I don’t act on it, it returns over and over until I do, and if I put it off for too long and miss the opportunity to act, there is a sense of something being off.

I know that many traditions talk about this quiet voice. As long as it seems sane, wise and kind, even in a conventional sense, why not act on it?

And if I notice reluctance to act on it, I can notice the belief that prevents me from doing so, and inquire into it to find what is more true for me.

tagged: inquiry, intuition, quiet voice   » leave a reply   -  

My practices right now are mostly those woven into my daily life, although I am doing some formal practice and am drawn to do more.

read on…

tagged: currently, practice   » leave a reply   -  

The right questions can lead us to a great deal of insight.

For instance, if we assume the woman in this illusion is not actually cut in half….

Where must her real legs be?

If the legs sticking out at the other end are not her real legs, what may they be instead?

Why is her head moving at times when there is no apparent reason for it? Why is her neck in an awkward position while the sections are separated?

read on…

tagged: inquiry, magic, questions   » leave a reply   -  

Say that reality awakens to itself, and there is identification as reality awake to itself….

Is that what I really am?

If reality is free to show up as delusion or awake to itself, is what I really am anything other (or less) than that freedom? What is already free to show up as either?

If delusion and reality awake to itself comes and goes, is what I really am either of those?

And when that freedom is lived through a human self, and it is lived in a sane, mature, wise and kind way, how does it look? Can I find what I really am as inherently free to show up as delusion and reality awake to itself, yet seeking clarity out of compassion?

read on…

tagged: ground awakening, headlessness, inquiry, the work, who and what we are   » leave a reply   -  

Joel sometimes says that enlightenment is retroactive.

One of the many ways of noticing that is through inquiry. Especially when it is done in a wholehearted and heartfelt way.

I take a story as true, and it colors my past. It may even bring up sadness, grief, anger, regret and so on.

I inquire into the story, finding what is more true for me, and the story is liberated from being taken as true.

And here, I find that my images of the past has changed as well. Instead of - for instance - regret over a particular situation, there is now a gentle and heartfelt appreciation.

Often, it is bitter-sweet. I can see how I acted in beliefs back then, creating suffering for myself and others. It is bitter. And yet, in realizing that I was confused and acted on a belief, and now have a little more clarity around it, there is a sweetness, a sincere appreciation of the whole process.

read on…

tagged: beliefs, liberation, past, stories, the work, time   » leave a reply   -  

We must be completely normal people, who have our feet firmly planted on the ground, but ever aware that while we live in this world, we are not of it.
- from an introduction to an interview with Zlatko Sudac

This is another pointer that can be very helpful.

How sane, mature, wise and kind am I in a conventional sense? How do I appear to others? If they see something in me that is not sane, mature, wise or kind, what is the truth in it? Can I find it for myself?

Is there any reason to not appear sane, mature, wise and kind in this situation?

If something looks weird, what is going on? Am I acting on a belief there? Am I acting on a fixed viewpoint, identified with a role or identity?

read on…

tagged: health, maturing, sanity, who and what we are   » leave a reply   -  

We have to sink into God so that I no longer exist but God does.
- Zlatko Sudac

It is such a beautiful and simple message, and one that is repeated by mystics of all traditions and no tradition. And it is also an invitation for us to explore it for ourselves, here and now.

What do I take as what I am, in immediate experience? How does it show up in each sense field? Is it content of experience? When I look at how it shows up in each sense field, is it different from any other content of experience? Does it come and go, as any other content of experience? What does not come and go? What am I really?

Am I this body? Sensations? Emotions? Thoughts? My past? My viewpoints, roles and identities? The doer? Choser? Experiencer? Observer? How do each of these show up in the sense fields? Are they content of experience? Do they come and go? Do what I really am come and go? What am I really?

Can I find a separate I here? Can I find a doer? Can I find an observer? Can I find any of those outside of the mental field? Can I find it as anything else than images, taken as true?

tagged: inquiry, realized selflessness   » leave a reply   -  

Whenever I take a story as true, I live a lie.

This lie has a huge impact on myself, others and the world. It causes suffering directly, and it also prevents action that could bring joy and alleviation of suffering for myself and others.

Through contemplation, inquiry or conversations, I can  bring into awareness some of this impact, realizing that I will never be aware of most of it.

When I recognize this, for instance through The Work, I find that it is sobering and powerful and brings an added urgency to inquiry, to bringing more clarity into how I live my life, the ways I take stories as true, and the impact of taking stories as true and also of allowing them to liberate.

read on…

tagged: beliefs, suffering   » leave a reply   -  

The simplest way to find beliefs is to look for its symptoms: unease, stress, tension, defense and so on.

And I also find that sometimes, it is helpful with a more targeted approach. To look for beliefs that block actions that seem more sane, wise, kind and mature in a specific situation.

I can image and look at actions that look more sane, wise, kind and mature in this situation. What may they be? What options look the most sane?

What are (some of) the beliefs that hinder this action? How do I stop myself by taking certain stories (viewpoints, identities, roles) as true?

What do I find when I inquire into each of these stories? Is it true? What happens when I take it as true? Who would I be without it, in this situation? What are the truths in its turnarounds? How would it be to live from some of these turnarounds?

I can then let go of the initial ideas and leave it open. What seems the most wise and kind here, in this more open landscape of possibilities, and in this specific situation?

read on…

tagged: beliefs, the work   » leave a reply   -  

Hence, you should stop searching for phrases and chasing after words. Take the backward step and turn the light inward. Your body-mind of itself will drop off and your original face will appear.
- Dogen from Enlightenment Unfolds (1999)

What does it mean to take the backward step?

Sitting in the tea house in a Chinese garden yesterday, the words backward step became very much alive for me.

I noticed the symptoms of solidifying a story, taking it as real. I noticed a solidified sense of a separate I, a center located in space, boundaries appearing as real, slight unease, tension, sense of precariousness, a viewpoint to defend, and so on. It was just the beginning movements, but still quite noticeable.

I could see that one option is to enhance, elaborate, support and defend the story, making it appear even more true. This is the forward step and it solidifies the story, and the sense of a separate I, even more.

read on…

tagged: allowing, backward step, inquiry, the work, zen   » leave a reply   -  

Two monks were arguing about a flag. One said: “The flag is moving.”
The other said: “The wind is moving.”
The sixth patriarch happened to be passing by. He told them: “Not the wind, not the flag; mind is moving.”
- The Gateless Gate #29

The wind and flag are moving in my own world of images. There are perceptions and then an overlay of images telling me it is a flag moving in, or being moved by, the wind. It is all happening within my own world of images. When I recognize that, there is the possibility of not taking my own world of images as substantial and real. It is very helpful to use an imagined overlay, but also good to notice it is all happening within my own world of images.

read on…

tagged: mental field, talking about, zen   » leave a reply   -  

I listened to a Zen talk about how difficult it is to notice when we are caught up in the ego. It is true, of course, but also not.

The word ego in a spiritual context points to identification with a viewpoint. Or more accurately, with a story and its viewpoint and corresponding identity, and the role in the world that goes with it.

Even clarifying that makes it easier. When we talk about ego, it can sound a little vague and abstract. But identifying with a viewpoint is a little more concrete and familiar. It is something we are more likely to notice as it happens.

And as we get familiar with the symptoms of identifying with a viewpoint, there is even more of a possibility of recognizing it as it happens. We may not be able to shift out of it completely, right there and then, but we can at least recognize that we are caught up in identification with a viewpoint, and do ourselves and others a favor and not blindly act on it.

read on…

tagged: ego, inquiry, stories, talking about   » leave a reply   -  

I am impressed with the sincerity and maturity of the young Croatian mystic Zlatko Sudac.

Here is an interview with him from a few years back, and an English language website with information about retreats and more.

His message is very much aligned with that of other mystics:

God is something which surpasses any and all thoughts about Him. He surpasses our feelings, and even the state of our souls. It is impossible to speak about Him. The only way to communicate with God is to love God. We have to sink into God so that I no longer exist but God does. When I do this I don’t lose myself, but find myself in God. This can be understood only by those people who love God with all their heart, all their soul, and all their strength. If anyone sins, the only cause for all sins is the lack of love towards God and the lack of love for mankind and ourselves, that is the cause of all evils. If this wounded humanity would discover the formula of love, unconditional love, this life would be heaven on earth.

read on…

tagged: christianity, mysticism   » leave a reply   -  

Choiceless awareness (aka shikantaza) is mainly a resting as what we already are.

We mimic what we are, as well as we can, until we notice that we already are just that. That which all happens within and as. The Ground of all, and all as the play of this Ground.

Choiceless awareness is also wordless inquiry. What happens when there is a shift into choiceless awareness? What happens to the sense of a center? The sense of a doer and observer? Is the center, doer or observer content of experience, as any other content of experience? Is it what I really am? What happens when I identify as a center, a doer, an observer? What happens when identification is released out of it? How is it to function from here? How is it to bring this into daily life?

Choiceless awareness is devotion. It is a devotion to truth, to kindness, to what we are and everything is, to Ground, to God. Devotion to living from this in daily life.

Choiceless awareness also includes stable attention. An attention stable enough to not (so easily) get absorbed into images and stories, and to catch itself when it does.

read on…

tagged: choiceless awareness, devotion, inquiry, mimicking, shikantaza   » leave a reply   -