One of the Breema principles (not among the nine) is “Do it for yourself”. It is a revolutionary principle in our culture, and yet a very simple and obvious one.
When I do it for myself (whatever I am doing), and also realize that there is no separation, I and the larger whole benefits.
When I do bodywork and do it for myself (for my own enjoyment and benefit), and experience no separation, the other person also benefits more. I am more relaxed, more comfortable, more present.
Whatever I do in my life, I can move in the direction of doing it more for myself.
In NVC, there is a very similar principle: Want what you do and do what you want. And a process to clarify this: (a) Make a list of the top ten things you least enjoy doing. (b) Write down your usual internal statement of the activity (“I have to … because …”). (c) Rephrase it as a “choose” statement (“I choose to … because …”) and look at which needs the activity meets and do not meet. This process will usually lead to one of three changes: 1. I realize that the activity does not meet my needs and I stop doing it. 2. I change the way I am doing it so my needs are better met. 3. I change my attitude towards the activity because I realize it does meet my needs. And again, my needs are not separate from those of others or the rest of the world.