When we allow our experiences to unfold within awareness, they are a support rather than a hindrance. Any experience can be a support in this way – anger, guilt, shame, joy, passion… They are all energy unfolding within spacious awareness – allowing awareness to become clearer and more spacious.
I woke up at 4am this morning with an experience of restlessness and discomfort. After getting up, I realized that it came from trying to hold back anger, so I allowed the anger to surface and I explored it unfolding and taking on different characteristics. Going to a Zen sitting group at 6am, I allowed myself to not only stay with anger but be anger. And this shifted into a deep, full, rich, intimate, inclusive experience of being body, sensations, emotions, thoughts, spacious awareness, the sounds, the room – all inner/outer phenomena (see earlier entry).
The anger came up towards someone who I see as acting unethically, talking with others behind my back instead of talking directly with me first. I allowed the anger to come up fully, along with judgement, blame, thoughts of what I would like to say to him (the jackal show in NVC terminology). The energy unfolded within spacious awareness, and allowed it to expand and clarify.
It also allowed me to go through a new shift into more deeply, intimately and richly being body, sensations, emotions, thoughts, spacious awareness, Big Mind. And when I talked with this person on the phone at 8am, it allowed me to express clearly, effectively, and with less/no reactiveness, what I wanted to say to him.