I am noticing more of a fullness when I am whatever comes up. If I wake up at 4am with an undercurrent of stress and panic, I am the stress and panic and whatever else is there, and it has a fullness and a richness to it. It does require attention and a shift, but also comes easily these days. The richness of it draws me in.
When “I” am separate from whatever comes up, and what comes up is perceived as undesirable (pain, fear, sadness, stress etc), then there is resistance and a pushing away. This brings up suffering.
When I am whatever comes up, in all its fullness, richness and flow, it is OK. I am stress, rather than being stressed. I am fear, rather than fearful. I am anger, rather than angry. There is no separation, nothing “else” to push away or cling to. It is only what it, and it is OK.
There is also a fluidity in moving from one to the other – in not getting stuck in no separation or in separation. If I am stuck in one or the other, that too brings suffering.
Being stuck in separation directly brings suffering. We are one object in a world of a large number of other objects with unpredictable behavior. We have what we don’t want. We don’t have what we want. All this brings suffering.
Being stuck in no separation also brings suffering, from ignoring the view of the small self. We are the small self and its view, but we do not allow ourselves to fluidly move into and out of this limited view. Not allowing the view of separation to come up brings suffering. It brings suffering through a disconnect from others who do experience the world in terms of separation. It brings suffering through not being fully human.