As I continue to engage in the Byron Katie inquiry process, my experiences of processes such as projections continue to deepen and clarify.
It has become very clear to me that whenever an impulse arises in me, I am the one it is meant for. I am the one meant to fully experience it.
It seems obvious, but there is such a widespread confusion about this today (and probably back to the dawn of humanity). Our culture teaches us the reverse: whenever something arises in me, it is meant for someone else. I either project it onto someone else, or I want to share it as a gift with others.
(As Jen said, there is an implicit idea behind this view which says that God/Existence must be very confused: An impulse is meant for Suzie, and it appears in Per. And I don’t even know Suzie…!)
Through inquiry, I see that whatever arises in me is meant for me. If it arises in the form of an advice (a “should”) then it is for me. If it is a gift of realization, awakening or skill, then it is for me as well – to fully experience and enjoy. I can still make it available for others, but even then I do it for myself – to continue to clarify and deepen it.
A footnote: When I see impulses arising in me as being for someone else, there is suffering. When there is a “should” and I apply it to others, they may or may not conform. When I know the advice is for me, I benefit fully from it. When a gift arises in me and I see it as for others, others may or may not receive and appreciate it the way I wish. When I know the gift is for me, I fully experience and enjoy it. Free from any agenda I would otherwise have on their behalf, this gives others the opportunity to freely enjoy it or not.
They should be interested in my gifts.
1. Yes. 2. No.
3. Let down. Feel ignored, hurt, isolated, judgmental of self and others, arrogant and/or inferior. Experience a split and separation.
4. Present. Enjoy what is. Interested in what is, as it is. (No need to interfere through engaging in the idea of “sharing my gifts”.)
5a. They should not be interested in my gifts. (No, what is is. They should not be interested until they are.)
>> 5b. I should be interested in my gifts. (Yes, I am the one they are meant for. They arise in me, so I am the one who is meant to fully experience them.)