Jen and I went hiking on the Washington side of the Columbia River Gorge this weekend, and brought the new book by Byron Katie. It was interesting to inquire into issues that came up for us as it happened, and talk about it afterwards.
Some ways to allow the inquiry process to sink deeper in (most or all of them mentioned in her books)…
- Use the worksheet, and inquire into most or all statements
- Use the subquestions, whenever they seem appropriate
- Take time with each question. Go beyond the initial (automatic) answers, allow the answers to surface, and allow them to sink in.
- Be aware of my motivation for inquiry. Find the motivation of exploring what is really true for me, not what I want/expect to be true. Open up for being surprised.
- Write down the answers, and/or sit with another person.
- Use full sentences. This can also allow new statements to surface which can deepen the inquiry.
I should limit my clarity and compassion depending on the behavior of others, and other external situations.
1. No. 2. No.
3. Apprehensive. Always on guard, looking for whatever I can use as a trigger to shut down clarity and compassion. Strong sense of separation with everyone/thing. And deepening separation and suffering when I shut down.
4. Here/now. Realize that clarity and compassion is the nature of mind – always here. Aware that I can discern (recognize delusion, when someone believe in thoughts etc) and still rest in effortless clarity and compassion.
5a. I should not limit my clarity and compassion depending on the behavior of others, and other external situations. (Yes, I can stay in clarity and compassion independent of the behavior of others. I take care of my business, they of theirs.)
5b. My thoughts should not limit my clarity and compassion depending on the behavior of others, and other external situations. (Yes, inquiry allows thoughts to not cover up the inherent clarity and compassion.)
5c. I should not limit my clarity and compassion depending on my own behavior and internal situations. (Yes, same as above.)
>> 5d. I should limit my thoughts depending on the behavior of myself/others, and internal/external situations. (Yes, I should limit my thought that they don’t deserve my clarity and compassion…!)
They don’t deserve my clarity and compassion.
1. No. 2. No.
3. I shut down. I cut myself off from my inner clarity and compassion, and my receptivity, wisdom, care, sense of overview. I withdraw. Become hypercritical of others and myself. Go into blame – for them triggering my shutdown, and also blame, guilt and shame for myself for shutting down. There is a massive contraction on all levels. I use the shutdown also to “punish” the other person and myself.
4. Stay with the situation, in clarity and compassion. I stay in clarity and compassion independent of their behavior. This opens for deep empathy, sense of connection, humility, discernment, overview. I can see their delusion and my own more clearly, and see which thoughts they and I believe in. I can act from clarity and compassion, less caught up in patterns of contraction and clouded judgment.
5a. They do deserve my clarity and compassion. (Yes, because that is their nature as well. I am just reflecting what is already in them as well, although temporarily covered up by thoughts.)
>> 5b. My thoughts deserve my clarity and compassion. (Yes, when I believe in them there is a massive shutdown on all levels. When I see them as just thoughts, with no substance, they too receive my clarity and compassion.)
>> 5c. I deserve my clarity and compassion. (Yes, because that is already the nature of mind. It is already there, under the confusion – under the dust kicked up from believing in thoughts.)