A reminder to myself: whenever I see something in someone else, it is a reflection in myself. I can recognize it in the other, because I know it from myself.
This is especially true when something comes up in the form of criticism and judgment. Both are beautiful, when I see it as an advice for myself.
When I see someone as stuck, not grounded, over-generalizing, overstating, blind, then I see this in them because it is equally in me. And what I find is that in the moment I see it as if in them, I myself am engaging in exactly what I see in them – the projection is of what I am doing right now.
When I recognize this, and work with it through (for instance) Byron Katie’s inquiry process, I recognize the impulse as exactly what I need – it is a precious gift. It helps me see that I am a whole in myself, and not separate from others.
After doing inquiry, I am free to do something about the initial external trigger or not. Most of the time I see that there is no need to do anything, and when I choose to do something – it comes from more clarity and sense of connection.