I notice, in my own immediate experience, how much fluidity there is in Big Mind.
Sometimes, the vastness of what arises in the present is in the foreground and the small self blends into the tapestry. Other times, what is going on with the small self comes into foreground, and the vastness goes into the background.
Another way of saying it is that I – as space and capacity for what arises – is sometimes in the foreground, and what arises is in the background. And that other times, what arises is in the foreground and I as space for it is in the background.
And either is fine. Sometimes there is no task at hand, or a task that fits very well with the vastness – I as space – in foreground. Other times, it may be more appropriate to focus specifically on what arises in the present.
I also notice how habitual patterns of the small self are triggered, and how I can even engage in what is triggered, and Big Mind is still there in the background. It is delusion and confusion, within the context of Big Mind.
For instance this Friday – when the small self experienced pretty strong reactions to food I had the night before – grumpiness was triggered by different situations. And I – as awareness – went into it and fueled it to some extent. At the same time, I noticed that it all took place within Big Mind – within a sense of being space for whatever arises in the present. Even here, when I do attach to and engage with what comes up, it takes some of the sting out of it.