Now a Tool

 

I notice that when I become more familiar with the fuller holarchy of my being, what previously seemed to fill my whole awareness now turns into a purely practical tool.

When I am exclusively identified with the small self, anything arising within the small self seems substantial, potentially a matter of life & death, and often fills my whole awareness. I filter all my experiences through thoughts, and mistake this map for the terrain. I become very much preoccupied with my exclusive self-image and identity, and spend a good deal of time and energy on developing, maintaining and protecting it. Abstractions of past, present and future are taken as reality itself. I discern but am not so aware of the larger whole.

As I awaken to myself as space & awareness, in which this small self and anything else in the world of phenomena arises, all of these become merely tools for orienting and being effective in the world. The small self becomes a tool for living and being engaged in the world of phenomena. Thoughts become occasional tools for clarifying, exploring and communication. Abstractions of past and future becomes a useful tool for learning and planning. Discrimination becomes a tool for discernment within the seamless fluid whole of Existence.

It is as if I am at first completely identified with a garden hoe. I took it as my whole world and defended it as if it was a matter of life and death. And then I find a larger and more inclusive view and realize that it is only a tool, with a limited, specific and temporary use. My relationship with it relaxes.

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