It is interesting how it seems that finding myself as the absolute – as capacity for the world – allows me to also be more deeply human.
I find myself as that which is distinct from the world of phenomena – as nonhuman, not-alive, as capacity, as space & awareness – and this allows me to find myself as more fully and deeply human.
If I am exclusively identified with the small self, I am in constant battle with the small self and the rest of the world. I operate from an exclusive and relatively rigid identity, and spend a lot of energy comparing everything with this identity and maintaining, refining and defending it. I am attached to thoughts, and whenever a situation comes around that does not conform to these thoughts, I create suffering for myself. I am not able to just be a human being without all the extra that I add onto it.
When I awaken as the Absolute and then as Big Mind, as capacity for the world, I have the opportunity to allow the small self to be as it is. Within this space, it unfold as it wants to, according to its habitual patterns. I am able to experience it fully, to not only be with it but to be it. And as there is no fixed or exclusive identity, there is nothing to defend. I am free to behave through this small self in a way that fits the situation more, rather than just according to the habitual patterns of the small self – which may or may not be what appears appropriate to the situation.
So this extra layer of space & awareness allows the human side of me to be experienced and come out more fully, without the extra added on to it.