Believing In The Thought “I”

 

In my immediate experience, there is just what is, as it is. There is no “I” or “other” to be found anywhere in this field.

When I believe in the thought “I”, I immediately create an appearance of separation of “I” and “other”, and a sense of needing to protect the first against the second. The whole human drama is created from this. Now, there is something to protect and something to protect against. There is “me” against the “world”, there is blind aversion (resentment, resistance, hatred) and blind attraction (desire, seeking). There is fear and no end of confusion. “I” suddenly becomes an object in a world filled with other unpredictable objects.

All this creates the appearance of an “ego”, although it rests on a very flimsy ground: just this belief in the one thought of “I”…

Without it, it all shifts. Now, there is just what is. There is a sense of ease in daily life. From the outside, it may not look very different or any different at all. From this side, it is quite different. There is no need for drama. This human self still functions very well in the world, interacts with others and takes care of itself. But the drama falls away. And the experience of it all is deeper, fuller, richer, more engaged and more vibrant. There is less or no blind resistance anymore, and less or no blind attachment to thoughts, so everything is experienced more fully and immediately.

Of course, there is a fluidity between these two. First, the center of gravity may be in the belief of the thought “I” and everything created along with it. Then, as we get more used to it, the center of gravity shifts to absence of the belief and the fullness and richness found here.

And yes, it is still possible to say “I”…! Others see “me” as this human self, so why not? But now, it becomes a mere label of this particular human self – merely for functional and practical reasons. It is seen for what it is, just a label. It does not kick up all the dust as it does when there is a belief attached to it.

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