Some Byron Katie style inquiries…
This is one that is not aligned with my conscious views, but still comes up – especially in face-to-face teachings. I often sense that they are speaking from a thick layer of assumptions, not receptive to the situation. And there is a sense of this situation, of what is here, not being seen. They are speaking as if this situation (the situation of “I” if I could find one) was something else. This especially comes up in relation with the Waking Down teachers and teachings.
I need to be seen.
1. Yes, feels true.
2. No, just a belief. Cannot even know that being seen is what is most “helpful”.
3. Hurt. Not seen. Resentment. Lots of judgement of them (for being caught up in assumptions) and of me (for reactiveness obviously out of confusion). Repetitive/circular thoughts. Imaginary dialogue with them, trying to explain my situation so they can see their assumptions and allow them to drop. Hopelessness, because often cannot get through in that way. Separation, and the pain from sense of separation. Anger, because they are blind! Anger, because I sometimes invest money and/or time for just listening to garbage which comes from inaccurate assumptions. Frustration, for encountering this over again. Want to be somewhere else.
4. Clear. Can see more clearly what is going on, where there is a match and where there does not seem to be a good match, and can act on this from more clarity. Can choose to examine more carefully, and then continue involvement or not – from clarity. Reactiveness is not neccesary.
5a. I don’t need to be seen. (Yes, that is as true. I often am not, in my opinion, and I am still around. It is just part of being human. And can even be helpful.)
5b. I need to be not seen. (Yes, that is true in more than one way. I have a desire to not be seen, sometimes. To go unnoticed. And when I am not seen, even if it is experienced as hurtful, that is valuable as well. I learn something about my beliefs, can see myself more clearly.)
I should always feel good.
2. No, just a belief.
3. Wary, always looking for something that could trigger “not feeling good”, or for signs of already not feeling good. Apprehensive. See any little sign of it as a potential disaster. Hypervigilant.
4. Free to experience what is. To stay with, be with the experience, as it is. To even enjoy it, whatever it is.
5a. I should not always feel good. (Yes, because I sometimes don’t.)
5b. I should always feel bad. (Yes, that is as true. Both are present in my experience, in the present.)
This one is one I have used to stop myself from engaging in things I am passionate about, but would/could bring public attention to me.
People shouldn’t look up to me and admire me.
1. Yes, definetely feels true.
2. No, just a belief (and a quirky one at that).
3. Concerned about any signs of people looking up to me. Apprehensive. Dismayed when/if it happens. Trying to avoid and prevent it, by not placing myself in a position where it could happen.
4. Clear. OK with it, either way. Can see more clearly what is going on, and address it if appropriate. Easier to navigate.
5a. People should look to me and admire me. (Yes, if they do they should.)
5b. I shouldn’t look up to me and admire me. (Yes, it is just Existence manifesting.)
5b. I should look up to me and admire me. (Yes, for the gifts coming through me.)
5c. I should look up to others and admire them. (Yes, for the gifts coming through them.)
5d. I shouldn’t look up to others and admire them. (Yes, what I see in others is what I recognize from myself.)
I should not “hook” on habitual patterns.
1. Yes, there is a desire for this.
2. No, just a belief.
3. Apprehension. Looking out for patterns that could hook, and for signs that there is hooking going on. A sense of despair when it does happen, of failure. Judgment. A sense of hopelessness.
4. Clear. What is, is. Being OK with what is, and see that this too is what is happening.
5a. I should hook on habitual patterns. (Yes, when do then should.)
This one comes up when I listen to NPR, both in terms of the way the stories are reported, the stories and people reported on, and especially the way many Americans – including the government – is apparently obsessed with minor issues and completely overlook what I perceive as the truly important ones (the tens of thousands of children dying daily from hunger, aids and preventable/curable diseases, the ongoing destruction of our life-support systems, etc.)
Americans should see their bigotry, ignorance, and shadow projections.
2. No, just a belief.
3. Anger coming up. Judgment, of their stupidity and ignorance. Judgment, of this judgment. Sense of failure, since there is judgment coming up and temporary attaching to it. Want to be somewhere else, not in this utterly corrupt country and culture.
4. Clear. Seeing the confusion it is coming from, both what I see in them and what is triggered here. Able to relate to it with more clarity, in whatever form that takes (if any).
5a. Americans should not see their bigotry, ignorance and shadow projections. (Yes, they don’t so they shouldn’t.)
5b. I should see my bigotry, ignorance and shadow projections. (Yes, I am the one who is bigoted, ignorant and projects shadows, as I believe in that thought.)
5c. I should see their bigotry, ignorance and shadow projections. (Yes, see it with clarity and discernment, for what it is. No need to add anything extra.)