[Another rambling and incoherent post…! But I’ll leave it as it is.]
I don’t quite understand much of the “spiritual” terminology, which is why I started compiling a dictionary for my own use.
For instance, what does the Absolute refer to? And where does awareness fit?
My working definition (which is bound to change) is currently…
The Absolute is the capacity for the world, the void pregnant with infinite possibilities. It is the formlessness forms arise from and within. Silence sounds arise from and within. Colorlessness colors arise from and within. Nonthoughts thoughts arise from and within. Nonawareness awarareness arises from and within (?).
So from the Absolute arises awareness and phenomena, as two manifestations of the same groundless ground.
At the same time, I seem to clearly experience this pregnant void – the emptiness full of the world. But how can nonexistence be experienced along with existence? How can existence be experienced within nonexistence? Of course, what is in the present is beyond and embracing all polarities, including existence and nonexistence, but it still appears as a mystery.
And I am also not quite clear on the relationship between the Absolute and awareness.
The Absolute seems to be empty of any characteristics. But is it also empty of awareness, only manifesting as awareness along with phenomena? Does awareness only arise along with the Relative world? Or does it exist apart from what happens in the present? Is there awareness with no content? What happens in the present seems to be a whole of awareness and phenomena, inseparable. And yet, clear awareness seem unchanging and not an aspect of the Relative world of fluid phenomena. Is it somewhere inbetween?
Even when we experience ourselves as all these – the absolute, awareness and phenomena – it can still be open for interpretation (and lack of clarity). At least as long as we are not quite familiar with the terrain yet, and there is many awakenings to come, many more layers to fall away.