Relationship With Experiences

 

As with so many thing, there seems to be an almost infinitely fluid and rich relationship with experiences.

Take for instance all the different ways we can relate to and with the habitual patterns of our human selves, and maybe in particular those which we sometimes experience as a “problem” or challenge.

As the belief in the thought “I” erodes away, there is just what is happening. There is just what is, as it is. No relationship is necessary. I am what is happening, or I can say that there is no (separate) “I” to be found anywhere.

And if we differentiate more by adding a layer of abstractions, including the thought “I” (as for instance pure awareness), then we find – in no particular order…

I can be with whatever I am experiencing in the present. I am space for it to unfold on its own, without resisting – by either pushing away or fuelling it. It unfolds on its own, naturally changing into something else. I fully experience it without engaging in it too much. And this process also fuels my awareness of myself as the Witness, as pure awareness.

I can be whatever is experienced. Here, I am being with whatever is experienced (as the space and awareness it unfolds within), and there is also no belief in the thought “I” – or the thought “I” includes the experience.

I can become whatever is experienced. This is a more active merging into it, allowing it to unfold a little more fully.

I can melt into whatever is experienced (or allow it to melt into me). When I take some time and do this, I find that it shifts and changes into a form of blissfulness – independent of what it started out as. This has become more alive for me over the last few weeks.

I can resist the experiences in various ways, through pushing it away or repressing them, or fuelling and indulging in them.

There can be declutching, where I find myself as space/awareness and whatever arises in the present, and where I watch the sensations, emotions and thoughts arise within this space but with no need to engage in it through resistance or fuelling or any other way. Within this, there seems to be room for different variations as well. It becomes a part of the tapestry of what is happening in the present, and it can remain just a small part of the tapestry or I can bring more attention to it (and feel into being it etc.).

I can come to my breath and my body, and notice how the experience often dissolves – vaporizes into thin air.

All of these happen for me these days, along with a tremendous gratitude for the fluidity and richness of it (even the suffering that comes from temporary resistance).

I notice a fascination with it all, and some living questions coming up as well.

Questions

If I habitually allow the experience (for instance something triggered in my human self) to vaporize by coming to the breath, do I miss out of something? It is a form of bypass?

If I habitually allow the experience to just unfold on its own within space & awareness, is this too a subtle form of bypass?

If I allow myself to become the experience, and the experience to melt into me, more fully – does this allow for a deeper form of embodiment and maturing as my human self?

Right now, I suspect the answer can be a tentative “yes” to each of these. And that is why the current natural fluidity among all of these brings up so much gratitude.

I resist, I allow it to unfold within space & awareness, I allow it to vaporize through coming to the breath, I take time to melt into and become it, etc. And all of this creates a richness that would not be there if I switched between a more limited set of these.

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