This is an insight I am sure must be old, but (to my limited knowledge) traditionally not embraced by western mainstream psychology. Maybe it is too simple? These days it seems to come up everywhere, including in Rapahel Cushnir’s Unconditional Bliss, Arjuna Ardagh’s Translucent Revolution, and Bhagavan‘s teachings).
When we melt into whatever is experienced, it transforms. And when we melt into experiences which we tend to experience as unpleasant, it may transform into a sense of fullness, expansiveness and even bliss.
From resisting a particular content of our experiences and keeping it out in the cold, knocking at the door, we invite it into the warmth and it melts. Its energy and power, previously experienced as “it” and a disturbance, now becomes “me” and a resource.
One night last week, strong experiences came which this self does not particularly like (I don’t even remember which labels I could put on it). I did initially spend some time on distractions, such as reading and music, but then submitted to my experience: it will not go away as long as I try to distract myself from it, but will melt and transform if I go fully into it. So I turned off the music, laid down on the bed, and fully and willingly embraced the content of my experiences. Right away, it became fluid and it eventually transformed into a sense of fullness, expansiveness, centering and bliss.
Of course, it is not always as easy as this. As with anything, it is a practice and a habit that forms over time. And in many cases, there may be a long period of staying with it and the discomfort.
And there is also the intention: if we do it mainly to avoid the unpleasant experiences, it most likely won’t work. There is still too much of a reistance there: we still keep it out in the cold and it keeps knocking on the door. If we do it to fully experience whatever is going on and invite it into the warmth, it does melt and transform.