In a certain sense, spiritual practice is about seeing the burden of I. Seeing over and over the burden that is created when there is a belief in the idea of “I” placed on any segment of what is.
There is no need to fuel remorse or anything else, because this is really to fuel the belief itself. Just the seeing seems sufficient. And the more clearly and thoroughly the burden is seen, the more possible it is for it to eventually fall away.
Right now, the burden of “I” is very clear and very sobering. But if I fuel the expectation of it falling away through this seeing, I am again fueling the belief in the idea of I and other… So that expectation is included in the burden of “I”.
A part of all this is surrender. Seeing that what this “I” has been placed on, no matter what it is, cannot do anything to change this. Surrendering is truly the only option. Surrendering to the seeing, to what is, to what is beyond this apparent “I”.
For me right now, the burden of “I” includes a sense of weakness and extreme exhaustion, and all the struggles that comes up when there is the belief that this should be different, that this “I” brought it on myself (although I don’t know how), that “I” should be able to pull myself out of it, and everything else that comes up around all this.
There is what is. And on top of this, there is the belief in the idea of “I”, and the sense of neverending drama and struggle brought about through that belief. And that itself is what is, of course. That too can be seen as it is.