During the deeksha event yesterday, we received one deeksha with the intention of seeing the “ugliness of (small) mind”. And it certainly worked for me. It was a parade of small mind creatures, from all the obviously “not nice” ones to those which appear more sophisticated, each one arising with the aim of getting something, each one arising from a sense of “I”.
Of course, this is just the way small mind works, and good and bad, ugly or not are just labels we add onto it. But it is still sobering to see how it works.
There is of course anger, irritability, wanting situations and people to be different, deception, conceit, seeing myself as special – either worse or better than others, and so on. All these things which we tend to not be terribly proud of.
And then there is the gold painted ones, such as apparent insight, sophistication, caring, compassion, justifications, rationalization, kindness and so on. All these small mind expressions dressed up in beautiful clothes, made to appear sophisticated, all these expressions filtered through a sense of “I” and with the aim of getting something. And made to appear as what they are not – arising from true selflessness (a clear realization of no “I”).
And it is OK. This is just how the mind works when filtered through a human being in our current evolutionary phase, and when it believes in an “I”. At best, it imitates true selflessness, what naturally arises when the realization of no “I” pops and deepens, but before then there is just the imitation.