What I place the idea of “I” on changes over time and from situation to situation. It is a very fluid – and quite beautiful – process.
When there is a contraction of my human self, due to a clash of preferences and the situation, there are (at least) three possibilities.
Contraction itself as I
The sense of “I” is on the inside of the contraction, through an identification with it. This tends to bring about a sense of confinement, separation and reactiveness. The contraction is often resisted, and yet sometimes blindly acted on. There is often a great deal of sense of ambivalence and struggle here.
Wider and more inclusive sense of I
The sense of “I” is wider and more inclusive than the contraction. This allows for a sense of spaciousness and liberation from the contraction.
An example is when I, through for instance yoga and mediation, have a strong sense of ourselves as a psyche/body whole, the Centaur level in Ken Wilber’s model. The contraction happen, but only as a small part of this larger whole. The same seems to happen, to an even greater degree, at F7-F9 in Ken Wilber’s model.
This often means that the reactiveness is quite fully experienced but not blindly acted on.
Here, there is no belief in the idea of “I”, in which case all of this is just happening. There is no doer, only the doing. This is a shift into a (apparently) complete liberation, and also allows for a more complete experience of what is happening. The resistance falls away since there is no “I” to resist the content of experiences.
Again, this often means that the reactiveness is fully experienced but not blindly acted on.