Inquiry :: Life is a struggle

 

Life is a struggle.

  1. Yes (I can find that in me.)
  2. No (Cannot know that is absolutely true, or that it always has to be that way.)
  3. What happens when I believe that thought?

    Sense of dread, from just being alive. This world is struggle, and there is no escape. Sense of closing down, of needing to develop and maintain and fine tune protection. Sense of deadening. Of just surviving. Sense of living in an oppressive universe. Sense being abandoned. Sense of separation and alienation. Sense of the universe being an unfriendly place. Of life being a drag with only occasional reprieve. In going into any situation, I expect struggle. I look for struggle. I may even seek – or create – struggle.

  4. Who or what would I be without that thought?

    Free to experience what is without an overlay of expecting struggle. Free to be with life as it shows up, as struggle or not. Free from the lens of struggle.

  5. (a) Life is not a struggle.

    Yes, that is as or more true. It is a struggle when there is a belief in thoughts, and not if there is not.

    (b) My thoughts is a struggle.

    Yes, that is true as well. They are, especially – only – when believed in. Then they inevitable create a sense of struggle, with others, myself the world.

    (c) I am a struggle.

    Yes, that is also true. It is especially true whenever I believe in thoughts, and especially the thought of I – of the idea of I placed on any segment of what arises, whether it is my human self, seeing, or something else.

I need to protect myself.

  1. Yes (I can find that in myself.)
  2. No (Cannot know that is absolutely true. Cannot know that it will always be that way for me.)
  3. What happens when I believe that thought?

    Always looking for (a) what I need to protect myself against and (b) ways to protect myself. It is a paranoid mindset. Anything and anyone is something to potentially protect myself from, and just to be on the safe side I assume that I need to protect myself against everything and everyone. The whole universe is something I need to protect myself against, because I never know what may happen. It is an unpredictable place. The only thing I can control, to some extent, is how I protect myself. And I see that I not only need to protect myself against the outer world – situations and other people, but also against myself. What comes up in me is also unpredictable, so I need to protect myself from that too. I can never or rarely let the guard down, and if I do – it is only for short periods. I see that this sucks up a lot of energy.

    How do I treat others when I believe that thought?

    I am guarded and suspicious. And I keep that under the surface so I won’t trigger something in them, it would just be another thing to protect myself against.

    What is the worst that can happen if I don’t’ have that thought?

    I will not protect myself and get hurt in various ways.

    What do I get from believing that thought?

    I get a sense of being in control, if only in a quite limited way. I get a sense of protecting myself, of relative safety.

  4. Who or what would I be without that thought?

    Free to deal with what comes up, as it comes up. Free from the confusion and cloudiness of the belief. More receptive. More present. Clear. More responsive to the situation. Sense of intimacy and connection with myself, others, the world. The natural clarity, wisdom and responsiveness of the mind – freed from beliefs, would have a more free play.

  5. (a) I don’t need to protect myself.

    Yes, that is as true. I really cannot protect myself. And in the absence of the initial belief, there is the natural clarity, wisdom and responsiveness of the mind which tends to do what needs to be done in any situation.

    (b) My thoughts need to protect themselves.

    Hm… Well, they need to protect themselves against beliefs. When they are free from beliefs, they function well – in clarity and through free explorations. When they are believed in, their clarity and explorations drown in the struggle that comes up.

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