I went to a workshop with Marshall Rosenberg a while back, and also did a NVC class, and found it intriguing and quite useful – especially the distinction between needs and strategies to meet those needs.
What I didn’t want to see for a while is that there may not be any relationship between NVC and The Work. The Work seems to undercut everything that NVC is about.
Doing inquiry for a while, it becomes clear that emotions is a story, and needs is a story as well. There is no substance in either.
I am hurt. I need love. I feel angry. I need food. I am sad. I need appreciation.
They are all stories, and so obviously so.
I may not have food, and may die from the lack of it, but I still don’t need food. It is impossible for me to need anything.
I may not receive appreciation (according to my story about it), but I still don’t need it.
There may be sensations and then a label on it – hurt, anger, sadness, exhilaration, but those are only stories too. There is a sensation, and that is all. It is impossible for me to know what it is about. And staying with a sensation without the story, it changes to the point where it is impossible to place any label on it even if I wanted to.
It is so simple. So clear. So much ease.