Emotions, Needs & Stories

 

For a while, I have been curious about the relationship between Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and The Work.

I went to a workshop with Marshall Rosenberg a while back, and also did a NVC class, and found it intriguing and quite useful – especially the distinction between needs and strategies to meet those needs.

What I didn’t want to see for a while is that there may not be any relationship between NVC and The Work. The Work seems to undercut everything that NVC is about.

Doing inquiry for a while, it becomes clear that emotions is a story, and needs is a story as well. There is no substance in either.

I am hurt. I need love. I feel angry. I need food. I am sad. I need appreciation.

They are all stories, and so obviously so.

I may not have food, and may die from the lack of it, but I still don’t need food. It is impossible for me to need anything.

I may not receive appreciation (according to my story about it), but I still don’t need it.

There may be sensations and then a label on it – hurt, anger, sadness, exhilaration, but those are only stories too. There is a sensation, and that is all. It is impossible for me to know what it is about. And staying with a sensation without the story, it changes to the point where it is impossible to place any label on it even if I wanted to.

It is so simple. So clear. So much ease.

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