On my way to the dreamwork course with Arny Mindell today, I noticed spaciness. I had a story about it – that it came from a combination of being sleep deprived and eating certain foods. And I also noticed that if I resisted it, if I saw it as an Other, it became a disturbance. It brought about a sense of discomfort, self-consciousness, rigidity, wanting to be on my own, concern about interacting with people, and so on.
If the resistance went away and I welcomed the spaciness as a friend, it took a very different form. Now, it became an invitation to be more free, receptive, flowing, comfortable, dissolving the sense of separate self, and seeing the magic in the world.
During the class, I had an opportunity to work on this further, and saw how it connected with my amnesia dream some weeks back, and many other things that has been coming up for me over the last few weeks and months – both in dreams and waking life.
It is just another reminder of how our lives is one single process (as apparent individuals, and also collectively and as the world of form as a whole). In this case, unfolding the process behind the spaciness touched upon a wide range of “symptoms” from recent months.
It all seems to have to do with (a) generally the difference between resistance (creating an Other and the appearance of a disturbance) and befriending (allowing it to share its gifts), and (b) specifically the gifts in spaciness – the space, freedom, flow, fluidity and nonlinearity of it.
Not surprisingly, working on this symptom of spaciness, my sense of being tired went away and alertness came in instead – still within the spaciness. There can be precision, functionality and linearity alongside with space, fluidity, flow, receptivity and nonlinearity. Right now, it seems that I am invited into bringing both more fully into my life – to explore how it is to live from the larger whole which holds both.