I had been the third speaker for a group of people, and noticed how people had been steadily trickling out throughout each of the three sessions. A woman behind me said “no wonder people left, you are not a very good public speaker.” I noticed a part of me wanted to protest, but also how true it felt and how good it felt to be with that truth. How it nurtures, in a deep way.
After I woke up, I allowed myself to continue to feel into this, and then to feel into anything else that I don’t want to see about myself. It all felt full and nurturing, and as a new shift into owning more parts of my shadow. I have done this before, including through The Work, but to feel into it in this way, so deeply, fully and tinged with bliss, was new.
The day before, what they call Being Participation in Breema had been especially alive for me and in the foreground. Allowing my whole being to participate in whatever I am doing (noticing that it already is), and the fullness and sense of nurturing and quiet bliss that comes with it.
And this is just one more aspect of Being Participation. Allowing my whole being to participate in feeling into the truth held by the shadow. I am a failure. I look weird. I am noisy. I am crude. I am unaware. I am inconsiderate. I am blind. I am, in a very specific way, anything I see in the world.
There is a truth in all of these statements, as there is in any statement. There is a truth in all of these statements which do not align with how I would like to see myself, or how my culture is telling me I should see myself. There is a grain of truth there, at the very least.
And to feel into it is to own it in a deepening way. To be with it, feel into it, allowing all of me to participate, allowing more of all of me to be felt as me.