Story gridlock

 

When we believe in stories, we inevitably believe in stories which are contradictory and mutually exclusive… at least if we take each of them to be an absolute truth. They may come up as a chain, one leading to another. We may be aware of their mutual contradictions and try to suppress some or all of them. We may bring them all to the surface, staying with the dissonance, and explore new stories which may resolve the contradictions. Or we may investigate the beliefs, one by one, and find what is already more true for us.

Here is an example of a chain: I should have awakened in a stable way by now > a Ground awakening is literally an awakening as nothing, as the void, so it gets “me” nothing in any way, so why even want it > wanting it is what keeps it from happening, so I shouldn’t want it > all of this creates a sense of gridlock and weariness, and that is exactly what sometimes goes before such an awakening > that story brings up a sense of anticipation, which is exactly what prevents it from happening, so it would be better if my attention doesn’t go there > but that is suppressing and resisting what is, which is exactly what holds a sense of a separate self in place > …

The mind goes around and around, attaching to one story, then another, then another.

There can be a temporary release and a softening of the grip through being with it all, for instance through meditation… allowing it all come and go on its own, as it does anyway.

But a fuller release comes through engaging with these stories through investigation. Is it true? What happens when I believe that story? What happens if the (attachment to the) story is not there? What are the truths (and gifts) in each of its turnarounds?

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