What are some of the gifts of failure, missteps, loss, shattered dreams, disappointments?
The conventional way of looking at it is that it helps us see what does not work. We have a goal, tried a certain strategy, and it didn’t work. So at least we know that, and may explore new strategies that are more likely to succeed.
It may also help us revise our goals. Maybe what I thought was my goal is not really a goal, just a strategy to achieve a goal I wasn’t even conscious about. For me, when I explore any of my goals – from the big picture ones to the everyday mundane ones to the ones I don’t really want to acknowledge – they all come down to wanting to be free from suffering, and wanting happiness (or at least contentment, appreciation for what is).
It helps us become more conscious of our beliefs and identities, and the stress we create for ourselves when life shows up different from our beliefs and identities. It is an invitation to explore the beliefs and identities triggered by the situation, and find what is already more true for us… seeing the truth in all the turnarounds of the initial story, and maybe even the inherent neutrality of the situation when all the stories have canceled each other out. Doing this, I can find the genuine gifts in any situation, and find (more) peace with it as it is.
The first one helps me be more efficient in the world. The second helps me become more clear about my real goals. And the third one helps me find peace with life as it is, and to deepen and mature as a human being… allowing some of the hard edges to soften (releasing my grips on beliefs and identities) and allowing a wider embrace of life.
Failure by Kings of Convenience