A felt-sense of ordinariness

 

See and knowing and recognizing that everything in me is universally human is one thing, loving it is another, and to have a deeply felt-sense of the same is again something quite different.

I see it more clearly, especially as I do different forms of inquiry, and there is often even a love for it. But the felt-sense is often less clear. Sometimes it is there, sometimes not.

Different forms of body oriented practices seems to help with a deepening into this bodily felt-sense of universality and ordinariness, and I have most recently noticed this through the transformational breath work.

After the sessions, and when I do it on my own, there is sometimes a dropping into a deep felt-sense of all of this being completely universal and ordinary, with no exception and no possibility for an exception.

With it, there is sometimes some fear and panic that comes up. There is still identification with an identity as someone intrinsically different, which seems to be an identity that is inevitably formed when there is a sense of I and Other, and this deep bodily sense of ordinariness goes counter to that attachment, which brings up some fear and panic.

For me, there is almost a sense of drowning into it when this deep bodily sense of ordinariness is there… a drowning of that particular identity as intrinsically different.

Initial draft… 

One of the effects of transformational breath for me is a deepening into a felt-sense of ordinariness. Of feeling and knowing, at a bodily level, that this human self is included and embedded in humanity in every way.

Seeing that all of this, this human life and everything else coming up here, is ordinary is one thing. Another is to have a felt-sense of it, to have the body included, to have an experience of each cell feeling it too. It makes it real in a different way, it adds another dimension to it.

I also notice how the presence of the view and felt-sense together tends to open the heart.

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