Inquiry: I shouldn’t have lost my passion.

 

Statement: I shouldn’t have lost my passion.

  1. True?
    Yes. Certainly feels true. Most people would agree.
  2. Sure?
    No. Not at all. I also don’t know what is best for me on my path.
  3. What happens when I believe that thought?
    • I feel sad. Frustrated. Angry. Depressed. A failure. Lost.
    • Where does my mind go? I compare my current lack of passion to the times where the passion was strong, and see how much more productive and exiting my life was then. I felt on track then, able to get a large amount of things done, developing my skills rapidly in many areas. Now, I am doing very little compared to that time.
    • Where do I experience it in my body? Sinking feeling in chest and stomach area. Pressure on the chest.
    • How do I treat others? I compare them on my passion scale, either above or below me – where I used to be and now. I sometimes prefer to be with those who are low on the passion scale so I am not so readily reminded of my own loss.
    • What am I not able to appreciate because of that belief? I am not able to appreciate my life as it is now. I am not able to appreciate the gifts here and now, which are different from the period of more passion.
  4. Who would I be without it?
    OK with my life as it is. Appreciating the gifts of it. Appreciating the different phases in my life, and that I have experienced periods of a great deal of passion, and periods which are more calm. I could have been stuck in one or the other, so at least now I have experienced both.
  5. Turnarounds.
    • I should have lost my passion.
      • Everything goes in cycles, including passion and energy levels. There is spring and summer, with a great deal of blossoming and activity, then fall and winter where everything winds down. And then, sometimes, spring again.
      • Also, I see how I was caught up in the fire energy at the time, having the fiery energy as my main identity. I burnt quickly, and it is not surprising if this is followed by a period of rest (even if my personality doesn’t approve).
      • It has helped me to sink into whatever came up during the first phase. There is more of a sense of knowing a deeper ground, a place that easily holds it all. There is more of a deep relaxation, stillness, even in the midst of activity.
      • When it shifted, I had to come to terms with it. I had to let go of identities. I had to look at my beliefs around it.
    • My passion shouldn’t have lost me. When I struggle against losing my passion, I am lost to passion. I am caught up in and blinded by beliefs, holding onto old identities, struggling with life. I am lost to passion, unable to see it even as it is here. Not receptive to it. Not able to recognize it in another form. Not able to appreciate it in the ways it is here.
    • My passion should have lost me. Well, it happened.

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