Inquiry: They are superficial (and that is not OK)

 

They are superficial. (And that is not OK.)

  1. True?
    No. This is clearly just an opinion.
  2. Can I know what is best for them or me?
    Not at all.
  3. What happens when I believe that thought?
    • I perceive them as superficial. I notice how I filter people into superficial or not. It is relatively independent of interests, views and activities, but has more to do with other things.
      • For instance, those who have a wide embrace of their human self, who embrace it in its fullness, seem less superficial.
      • And the same for those whose soul level is alive and present, that sense of alive presence, fullness, trust, and so on.
      • I also have ideas of how allowing, embracing and allowing the fullness of the human self invites in a sense of depth and fullness, and how exclusive identities and rigid beliefs gives a sense of narrowness and of living on the surface of the personality, instead of at the depth of our human self and the alive presence.
    • I feel satisfied with this analysis, and it makes me feel that I am right. It supports my initial belief. I can find others who agree with me. I and we are right. I and we see it.
    • All of this creates a sense of separation, which is uncomfortable.
    • There is also a sense of something being off… from the sense of separation, of a view I need to protect, of wanting myself to fall into the not-superficial category and not being sure if I can do it, from seeing that I am holding onto a particular view as if it is true while it cannot possible be true.
    • When did I first have that thought? Probably in childhood or early teens, when I realized that superficial=bad, not superficial=good. (It came from my culture in general, and my family and friends and their families in particular.)
  4. Who am I without that thought?
    At peace with people as they are, whether they appear superficial or not, according to different ways of filtering it. The texture of their lives is in the foreground, and the superficial/not superficial falls far into the background if it is noticed at all.
  5. Turnarounds.
    • They are not superficial.
      • Right. Who am I to say? My views on what is superficial or not is just one of many possible. This one view does not in any way have a privileged position. Even in a relative sense, acknowledging that there is only limited truth to any view, it is certainly not among the most sophisticated ones.
      • Even if I compare people to this one view, I cannot really tell. I don’t know what is going on for others. I don’t know what doesn’t come out when I am looking, and what comes out when I am not.
      • The richness and depth of their life is the same as for anyone else. There is a richness and depth inherent in existence itself, independent on surface appearances, and these folks are not separate from that.
    • I am superficial. Yes, certainly. When I make these judgments, I am the one who acts in a superficial way. I take one particular measuring stick, hold it up against these people, and see if they measure up or not. (And I do the same with myself as well.) The whole process is flawed from beginning to end, and if I take it as anything more than a game, I am the one who is superficial.
    • I am not superficial. Right. I too take part in the richness and depth of existence itself, independent of what the surface manifestations are. Even as I believe this initial thought, and measure people against my views on what is superficial, there is an inherent richness and depth here that is inherent in existence itself.

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