Being with

 

I keep coming back to the most basic dynamics, so I guess there must be more in it for me. In any case, it is something I notice throughout the day so it is somewhat familiar territory.

One of these life 101 dynamics is being with experiences.

When I resist, there is a sense of struggle and discomfort.

When experiences are fully allowed, there is a release.

In the first case, there is identification with resistance, with a belief saying something that is should not be, with a region of content of awareness, with an I that has an Other. From there, there is a sense of drama, struggle, discomfort and so on.

When it is all allowed, in a wholehearted and heartfelt way, it all shifts. The identification is released from resistance, and from content in general. It is released out of the whole I-Other dynamic, so there is a sense of release from the struggle and drama around it as well. If the basic sense of I-Other is also allowed, there is a release from that one too, so awakeness notices itself and its own content as itself. (The basic sense of -Other comes from resistance to the Ground, to Big Mind, to awakeness noticing itself and its content as itself.)

It helps me at my human level, making it easier to deal with whatever is triggered. It helps me find myself as Big Mind. When both of those are there, it helps me find myself as Big Heart. (Which comes when I find myself as Big Mind, and bring focus on the human.)

And it is very simple. The most simple.

It is just noticing when there is identification with resistance, with any movement “away” from something or pushing something away, and then fully allowing it as it is, as if it would never change, in a wholehearted and heartfelt way. Right there, identification is released out of it. It is all still there, living its own life, but now not taken as an “I” that has an Other.

And in this, there is a lot more to notice as well.

For instance how any sense of an “I” with an “Other” tends to be anchored in sensations, which gives it a location in space, a sense of substance and reality, and a sense of having something to push off from against something else. It seems that some sensations are more habitually used that way, probably quite different from person to person, and if they are not readily available in awareness, we tense up certain muscles to make them more available so they can be more easily located in space, become a more stable anchor, have more sense of substance to lend to the sense of I with an Other.

And also how it helps to bring in the heart, to fully feel whatever is experienced, and to do so with the heart, in a heartfelt way. To be with it, as we would be with a hurt child or a wounded animal.

In this way, we bring in all three centers. It is seen from the perspective of holding all content of experience, as one field inherently free from I and Other. It is felt, as it is, without the distractions from the struggle that comes from identification with resistance. It is loved, as it is, as a child that is hurt or a wounded animal, released from resistance. (Resistance at the heart level can bring up soppy sentimentality or distance, coldness.)

Resistance shows up as over-identification or under-identification at each of these three levels.

At the view level, it brings a rigid identification with a particular view as opposed to other, often reverse, views. There is an identification within content, with a particular view or identity, and it is opposed to other views and identities. There is an over-identification with certain views and identities, and under-identification with others, which brings a sense of rigidity and struggle. (And poor judgment to boot.)

At the felt sense level, it brings up a great deal of distractions so it is difficult to wholeheartedly feel whatever experience is here, as it is. There is a sense of I and Other, in a shifting relationship, which makes it difficult to just be with one or the other or both.

At the heart level, the over-identification or under-identification shows up in the form of sentimentality or coldness.

In terms of my experience of the shift, it tends to go from a sense of a disturbance, discomfort, struggle, something missing, to a sense of – often – sweet nurturing fullness.

As long as there is identification with resistance, with an I within the realm of content, there is an Other that act as a disturbance, and there is a natural sense of separation (from life, others, oneself), of something missing (Other), of drama (struggle between I and Other), and so on.

Once identification is released out of content, it is all revealed as a seamless field and as awakeness itself, so there is a sense of fullness, of it being complete, nothing missing, of sweetness in the experience independent of content, and of all of this nurturing our human self in a quite different way than we (it) may be used to.

And this happens even if there is not a full release into Big Mind. Even a release out of the specific resistance, not including the more basic sense of a separate I, will give a release into this sweet nurturing fullness. It gives a taste of it.

At the practical level, Raphael Cushnir’s approach may be the most simple and easy to use. Ask yourself, can I be with what I am experiencing right now?

That invites the shift to take place… out of identification with resistance into allowing it all, including the resistance, as it is, as if it would never change. As we get more experience with it, we see more of the details of what is happening, and the heart naturally is more included as well.

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