Inquiry: I am not qualified.

 

I am not qualified. (To help, give advice, teach, contribute.)

  1. True?
    Yes. Feels true. My stories tells me it is true. I can find others who agree.
  2. Sure?
    No.
  3. What happens when I believe that thought?
    • I tell myself I am not qualified, and find reasons to support it.
    • I hold back. I even hold back from teaching Breema, which is such a passion for me. I hold back from even the thought of sometime in the future having something to offer in the areas I am interested in. I see folks, including friends, going into positions of helping others with pointers, and tell myself I would or could never do that.
    • I make myself right by telling myself I am wrong. I get into the identity of not being qualified, and can’t image how it would be to find myself outside of it.
    • When did I first have that thought? >> Probably in my teens, during my initial awakening when I went to a range of folks (psychologists, spiritual teachers) and none of them had experience with such a radical soul level awakening, and falling into realized selflessness in that way. I told myself I would never place myself in such a position, of having the role of adviser and not being qualified. (Didn’t see this until today.)
  4. Who would I be without it?
    • Receptive to finding how I am qualified and not. Receptive to a much more sincere and differentiated view on it. Receptive to going outside my familiar identity of not being qualified.
  5. Turnarounds.
    • I am qualified.
      • Yes, I am officially qualified to teach Breema, so at least someone thinks I am qualified.
      • I am qualified to speak from own experience, as we all are. (Especially when I know and acknowledge how limited it is.)
      • I am qualified to be of assistance in the way any human being is. Through emotional support, by listening, being there for someone, encouraging someone. Through informational support, by offering pointers. Through instrumental support, by helping someone in practical ways.
      • I am qualified to be a mirror for others, as we all are and everything is. I am qualified for being someone others can see themselves in, and don’t need to do anything to be in that role.
    • My thinking is not qualified.
      • It is not qualified when it gets absorbed into beliefs.
      • It has nothing to offer when it gets absorbed into the belief that I am not qualified.
    • My thinking is qualified.
      • Yes, when it reflects what is alive in immediate experience.
      • It does know a limited amount about some areas, so is qualified in that – conventional -sense.
    • Others are qualified.
      • Yes, to speak from own experience and what is alive for them.
      • In a conventional sense, as having limited practical knowledge about certain areas.
    • Others are not qualified.
      • Well, the ones I went to in my teens were not qualified b/c they were not familiar with the terrain. They could help in the areas they were qualified in, and not the other ones. And that is how it is for all of us.
      • None of us are really qualified in any area, apart from in a practical and limited sense. And still, folks go into roles of advisers, still folks offer what they have, still folks help in whatever ways they can. There is a great beauty in this. A great beauty in the innocence of it. The compassion. The fragility of it. In doing what comes up for us to do, although all we have is a practical and very limited knowledge. (My heart opens here. A great compassion. A sense of us. I allow myself to feel this. I allow it to work on me.)

This inquiry is related to a dream from some days back.

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