One of the ways of looking at maturing and awakening is through disentanglement.
The process of healing and maturing as who we are involves disentanglement (decoupling, differentiation) in several ways, and so does the process of what we are noticing itself.
In terms of maturing, we find disentanglement of…
- Kindness and likes/dislikes. We can meet someone with sincere well-wishing and an open heart, independent of whether our personality likes the person or not. This goes for our relationship to ourselves, and situations, as well. I can be kind to myself, even if things are not going the way my personality likes.
- Giving something to ourselves and receiving it from others. We give what we need to ourselves, and don’t crave it from others – although deeply appreciate it when it is there.
- Seeing something in our human self and in the wider world. Whenever I see something (a quality, dynamic) in the wider world, I can find it here in my human self. The two are mirrors of each other, yet also distinct and free from each other.
- Triggers and response. There is a potential trigger, but a (sense of) freedom in how to respond to it. I don’t have to respond from habitual patterns, or from rigidity or reactiveness. Whatever used to trigger a habitual pattern is not a trigger anymore.
- Kindness and yin kindness. Kindness can take many forms, not just the receptive/holding form. It can also cut through when needed.
- Stories and beliefs. (As below.)
In terms of awakening, we find a disentanglement of…
- Stories and beliefs. We see stories as just stories, without taking them as true.
- Sense fields and the mental field. We see what happens in the sense fields as happening within each sense field, and the overlay from the mental field as just an overlay.
- Sensations + body image + image of human self and a sense of I with an Other. The gestalt of sensations/image of human self are free from being taken as an I with an Other.