Currently

 

Here is a snapshot of my experience these days…

  • All is awakeness itself. This is in the foreground or background, depending on where attention goes.
  • All is emptiness. A form with no substance, as a hologram. This too is in the foreground or background, depending on where attention goes. There is also a noticing of beliefs/contractions/sense of separate I as awake emptiness when attention goes there.
  • I am still caught in beliefs and emotions, sometimes. Although there is also a recognition of that happening, as it happens.
  • There is a sense of headlessness. Of space with sensations where (my stories tells me) the body and head is.
  • The luminous blackness is everywhere, inside of and as a ground of all form, and this too is more in the foreground or background depending on attention. (This is a literal sense of a luminous blackness, it is not a metaphor – at least not any more than any other label.) It invites in a healing at the emotional level, and invites me to be with sensations more.
  • There is a lot of old beliefs surfacing, wanting to be seen, met, welcomed, felt, loved.
  • There is a sense of all having no bottom, no “ground”, yet also of standing on a ledge. What is happening has no bottom, it just happens as insubstantial awake-emptiness-form. And there is a ledge, because there is still a sense of a slightly separate I hanging around. A center. A vague sense of a doer.

(This was written while on retreat so I back-dated it here on the blog.)

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