Inquiry: They make it difficult for me

 

They make it difficult for me.

  1. True?
    I can find stories telling me it is true, and it feels true sometimes.
  2. Sure?
    No. Just an interpretation.
  3. What happens when I believe that thought?
    • I go over in my mind how they make it difficult for me.
      • The dentist I went to a few years back who did two crowns and a root canal, and seemed very unprofessional and careless. (It was the first and last time I went to him.) Now, I had to all of it because of his lousy job. The tooth decayed under each crown, and the original root canal had only been partially done! One and a half root had not been treated. I had to pay twice for the same job, because of him.
      • Hewlett-Packard and their tech support hell. First, it was hours and hours talking to tech support last winter, trying to get a replacement for the battery which died long before its time, and finally getting a replacement after three months and only after having gone through one of my relatives who works for them. Then, the new laptop I bought two months ago and I still don’t have one that works! They first sent me a defect one (defect wireless card). I had to spend three hours with tech support before they decided to give me a replacement. And the replacement had the same defect! This time, I spent four hours on tech support, again going through the same incredibly stupid troubleshooting procedures before they decided there was something wrong with the hardware. (Which I could have, and did, tell them right away.)
        • Judging from the troubleshooting procedures they had me go through, HP apparently does several things with new computer before shipping them. They must fragment the drive, since they wanted me to defragment a new hard drive. They install adware and spyware, since they wanted me to check for both even if the pc was right out of the box. They fill up IE with cookies and temp files since they asked me, at several different times in the process, to delete them. Their laptops have a weird relationship to the wireless source, since they wanted me to go through several checks with the wireless source even if two other laptops in the house connects with it fine. And for each of many steps, each one equally absurd for a computer fresh out of the box, the tech support guy said “that will take care of your problem, is there anything else I can help you with”…!
      • The engineer who told us to build two huge retaining walls which we spent the whole summer and fall last year building the forms for, and spending thousands of dollars on materials and labor, which turned out to be completely unnecessary…! It could have been done far simpler, and for only a fraction of the cost and labor, and the head engineer of the same firm even agreed with it when we asked him.
        • Also, I have helped several people (friends and acquaintances) in Wisconsin build their houses and donating hundreds of hours of my labor, doing it all for free. Now, I have to pay for someone to help me, and even then it seems almost impossible to find anyone to help! The initial guy decided he didn’t want to continue because of the difficult logistics of building the forms half way down a steep hill with no access roads. The next told us for several weeks that he would come for sure tomorrow, and never did. And so on.
      • In two of these cases, I lost thousands of dollars due to the incompetency of someone else, and being stupid enough to trust them against my better judgment.
    • I tell myself that I should have followed my own judgment about the dentist (gone to someone else) and the retaining wall (gotten a second opinion before starting building it, when it seemed absurdly over-designed).
    • I tell myself that if I were in their situation, I wouldn’t hesitate giving the money back. But that is not happening, it seems. I am stuck with the loss.
    • I experience stress. I feel like a victim of others incompetence. I think of what I could have spent all those thousands of dollars on, instead of these useless things. I feel angry. Frustrated, especially since I don’t get compensation.
  4. Who would I be without it?
    • Clear. Present. Responding to the situation from clarity. Free from getting caught up in drama and stress around it. Free to do what seems appropriate to get compensation. Move in that direction and see what happens, and either follow through or letting it go depending on how it goes.
  5. Turnarounds.
    • They don’t make it difficult for me
      • No. They just do their job in the way they do it.
      • Neither of these situations are inherently difficult. Nothing is.
      • Even in a conventional sense, it is not that difficult. If I know what to do next, I can do it. If I don’t know, I wait until it clarifies – or I get help. Not difficult.
    • I make it difficult for me
      • Yes, I made it difficult for me when I stayed with a dentist who seemed very unprofessional, and when I didn’t get a second opinion about the wall.
      • I make it difficult for myself when I fuel stories and create drama around it. It makes it much more difficult for me to act in ways that will resolve the situation.
    • My thinking makes it difficult for me
      • Yes. When I stayed with the dentist, and didn’t get a second opinion, I went against my better judgment and intuition. And I did so because of certain beliefs, mainly that professionals know what they are doing.
      • When thoughts take themselves as true, they make it difficult for me. They make the situation appear much more convoluted that it needs to.

Additional statements:

  • I should have trusted my own judgment. (Gone to another dentist. Got a second opinion on the retaining wall.)

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