This is very simple even if it can sound very complicated when talked about.
I have an undesired experience, so resist it.
And this resistance creates more undesirable experiences (tension, stress, drama), so I resist those effects as well.
If I notice that resistance creates those effects, I may even resist resistance itself.
Until I see that it is all content of experience, and there is a shift into allowing it all, as it is, for its own sake, as if it would never change, and in a heartfelt way, with kind attention.
Of course, there is a lot more going on here for each step. I won’t write it out here, but will leave some of it in the outline below.
- resisting experience creates tension, stress, discomfort (which in turn may be resisted)
- stories say certain experiences are undesirable
- these stories are taken as true
- so try to resist experience
- create a sense of space so can locate “I” here (usually somewhere within the body/head area) and what is resisted at some distance away from it (even a very small distance is sufficient to make it appear as “other”)
- tense up so certain sensations appear stronger and more solid, serving as a better anchor for a sense of “I”
- fuel stories saying that the experience shouldn’t be there (distraction from allowing the experience, going into stories about it so don’t have to experience the experience) + bringing attention to a different topic (distraction from the stories fueling it, don’t want to think about it anymore)
- a lot of kicking up dust and creating drama, but not much else is happening
- then, resist resistance as well
- resist the effects of resistance (tension, stress, drama)
- and if these are noticed as effects of resistance, may resist resistance itself
- practical approach
- allow/be with experience, as it is, for its own sake, as if it would never change, in a heartfelt way, with kind attention
- since resistance and its effects happen within content of experience, allow and be with that too