When I first decided on the URL for this blog, I saw it as refering to an absence of a sense of I.
I now realize that a simpler and more clear way of looking at it is as absence of i-dentification.
If I look for an absence of a sense of I, I am looking for something happening within content of experience. There will be times when there is no sense of I, but it is within content of experience. And as any content of experience, it comes and goes as a guest, on its own.
So absent of i-dentification is a little simpler and clearer. There is an absence of identification with content of experience, whatever that is, because what we are recognizes itself in all of it.
For me now, there is a vague sense of an “I” here. It is a gestalt made up of a set of sensations in the head area and the images of a center and an I with an Other. But when I look at it, I see that it is just like any other content of experience. It has form but no substance. It is the Ground of no-thing taking a form while never being anything else than no-thing. It is awakeness itself taking this particular form.
There is still some identification with this gestalt, but that too is awakeness itself.
Identification or not are both expressions of awakeness. When there is identification with experience, it doesn’t quite notice itself as awakeness and all forms as itself. And when it is awake to itself within and as whatever happens, there is a release of this identification. Either way is fine. Both are expressions of this awakeness. Awakeness exploring itself in a richness of ways. Although one tends to bring a slight sense of dissatisfaction and an impulse for a shift into the other.
- absent of I – still within content of experience to some extent
- looking for a sense of “I” to go away, which it will at times, but it may also come back
- is within content of experience, so comes and goes as a guest, on its own, as any other content
- absent of i-dentification – simpler and more clear
- absent of identification with content, whatever it is, b/c what we are recognizes itself in/as all of it