Here is a slight variation on a common topic…
Our stories create a limited identity for us, and to the extent we identify with it, we are at odds with reality.
There is an identity to justify, defend and prop up. Someone may see something in us that doesn’t fit, and we feel a need to defend against it. Or our human self may do something that doesn’t fit, and we feel a need to defend our identity there too. We are at odds with life as it is, and there is a sense of drama and struggle.
So whenever this happens, it is a great opportunity to notice our identification with a particular identity. We take the offended identity as true, but what is more true for us? What do I find when I explore it for myself.
Someone may say “you are …” (fill in the blank). I notice a reaction to it, a movement to defending an identity, and this is a sure sign that I identify with and take a story as true. There may be stress. Tension. Hurt. Defensiveness. Reactiveness. Getting caught up in stories.
And I can meet and explore this in different ways. I can allow and meet the experience, and the fear behind it. I can notice the belief behind it, and find what is more true for me. I can feel and see the characteristic in me, as a part of my human wholeness, and our shared humanity.
In each case, what I find is that behind the initial reaction, there is pure gold. I find another piece of my lost wholeness as a human being. I am released out of a false – and too narrow – identity. I find another aspect of our shared humanity right here. I experience more of the fullness of who I already am.
If I get caught up in defending the threatened identity, all the usual things happen. A sense of stress. Tension. Conflict. Separation. (To myself and others.) Getting caught up in obsessive thoughts. Hurt. And more than that, I miss out of pure gold. I miss out of finding a previously excluded piece of my own wholeness.
The only problem is that most of the time, I don’t know what people think about me. They just don’t tell, at least not if it is anything they see as unfavorable. I miss out of the gold because it doesn’t happen that often. So what can I do?
Fortunately, there is a way around it. I can use any statement that comes my way, no matter who or what it is about and where it comes from (including my own thoughts), and turn it around to myself.
How is it true for me? Can I find it right here? What happens when I inquire into the beliefs and identities preventing me from feeling and seeing it in my human self? What happens when I allow myself to feel and see it right here?
Whatever statement comes up, I can turn it around to find it in myself.
This process leads to a healing and maturing of who I am, as this human self. And it releases identification out of stories, which makes it easier for what I am to notice itself.
It is pure gold, so why wait?
- any statement about anything
- apply to myself, find it right here
- feel it, see it
- genuine appreciation for it
- for what it points to + the pointer
- feel, see that is pure gold
- a shift in how relate to
- when stuck in programming from culture, then may get offended, hurt, reactive, etc.
- but after exploring this, finding the pure gold, over and over, then a shift into genuine appreciation and gratitude
- it is gold, so why wait?
- too rare that someone says something directly about me, so use any statement and apply it to me and see what I find
- what do I find?
- wholeness as who I am
- easier to notice what I am
- less distracted by attention going to stories (attention goes to stories taken as true, identified with)
- fewer and less strong identifications with stories (identities, points of view)
- a little more space
- already released more into the space everything happens within and as