Some layers of giving someone the benefit of the doubt…
There is a generosity in giving someone the benefit of the doubt. There is receptivity and an open heart here.
It comes from a receptive view. From recognizing that I don’t know. No matter how much a story feels true, other stories tells me it is true, and others agree, I don’t know. It comes from being receptive to the validity in other stories than the ones I am familiar with, and the limited validity in the stories I am familiar with.
It comes from an open heart. From recognizing myself in the other and a sense of us.
And sometimes, it is supported by a felt sense of nurturing fullness. (A felt-sense of security from an alive belly center.)
And I do it for myself. I give someone the benefit of the doubt for my own sake. And the other person may benefit from the open space there as well. It is an invitation to find a little more maturity there.
At the same time, when I act in the world, I can be smart about it in all the conventional ways. I don’t need to act naive. I am free to do what seems appropriate.
And in a practice perspective, there are a few things I can explore.
Do I fix on a single story about the person, assuming it is true? If so, can I find other interpretations that may be equally valid? And can I find what I see in the other right here? Can I see it, in specific situations. Can I feel it? Can I include it in my self image?
Even if I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, are there times and situations when I don’t? What is going on there? What stories come up for me? Am I coming from a fixed identity?
And when I do give people the benefit of the doubt, how do I act on it? Am I still able to be smart about it in all the usual and conventional ways?
…
Draft…
Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is another thing we can explore…
I can notice what happens when I give someone the benefit of the doubt, and when it is easier for me to do so. I can explore what happens when I don’t give someone the benefit of the doubt and what brings me into that space. And I can explore how to live from it in the world.
……..
- benefit of the doubt
- generosity
- receptivity of view
- don’t know
- recognize as confusion only, coming from innocence
- open heart
- sense of us
- sense of security from belly
- nurturing fullness
- receptivity of view
- practical approach
- benefit of the doubt
- more honest, sincere
- opens space for both of us, space to mature into
- still be smart about it, act in ways that seems appropriate
- benefit of the doubt
- practice
- notice what I do
- do I fix onto a story? can I find other interpretations? can I find in myself what I see over there?
- if I generally give the benefit of the doubt, when do I not?
- what happens when I give the benefit of the doubt? can I still be smart about it?
- notice what I do
- generosity
…….
There is a generosity in giving someone the benefit of the doubt.
Initial outline…
- benefit of the doubt
- generosity
- receptivity of view
- open heart
- sense of security from belly
- practical approach
- benefit of the doubt
- recognize, if there
- a story is only a question, even if taken as a statement or truth (by me or others)
- is play of awakeness/emptiness
- also, be smart about it in a conventional sense
- do what seems appropriate, don’t be naive
- notice what tend to do
- notice if fix on a story
- shadow projection
- anything else
- generosity