When I am caught up in beliefs, I find that there is often a resistance to the situation as it is, and also a resistance to acting and/or nonacting.
So to explore that, I can ask a set of questions…
What is my most familiar belief about this situation?
What is not OK about it? What is not OK about the situation as it is?
What is not OK about changing it? What is not OK about following my impulse to act?
What is not OK about waiting? What is not OK about not doing anything about it, for now?
Say the initial belief is my life is off track.
What is not OK may be that my life should be on track. (The obvious statements are good to work with.) I am not fulfilling my purose. (And… My life can be on or off track. There is a purpose.)
What is not OK about acting… I don’t want to rock the boat. I am comfortable. I need to know what will happen if I make a change.
And what is not OK about waiting… I need to act. I need to make a change.
Here is a simple way to explore knots in a more thorough way…
First, find a belief.
Then ask, what is not OK about it? What is not OK about the situation as it is?
And then two questions…
What is not OK about doing something about it? What is not OK about changing the situation?
And, what is not OK about leaving it as it is?
The first belief may be quite familiar to us and it can be very helpful to explore it. When I ask what is not OK about it, I find some underlying beliefs preventing clarity and finding peace with it. When I ask what is not OK about doing something about it, I find beliefs holding back action. And when I ask what is not OK about leaving it as it is, I find beliefs holding back nonaction.
Conversely, when I explore these beliefs, there is more clarity around the situation and a sense of peace with it, as it is. There is more clarity around how to relate to it and ways to act. And all in all, there is a more open landscape of allowing experience and nonaction/action. There is curiosity. Interest. A freedom to explore a wider range of stories as guides for how to act.
In a little more detail…
Whenever there is a sense of stress, there is a belief there somewhere. For instance, my life is off track.
And when there is a belief, there is resistance. A resistance to allowing whatever experience comes up as it is. A resistance to seeing that the statement is not quite true, and also finding the limited truth in its reversals. A resistance to allowing a quiet kindness that includes ourselves and others.
Asking what is not OK about it? helps identify the belief behind that resistance, and then explore it.
In this case, the answer may be my life should be on track. I am not fulfilling my purpose. I am not following my heart.
At the same time, there may be resistance towards doing something about it. There is an impulse to change the situation, and a holding back. When we find some peace with the situation as it is, there is more clarity to chose how to act. And when there is a release of identification out of stories holding action back, we are free to act.
Using the same example, the beliefs here may be… I am comfortable as it is. I don’t want to rock the boat. I don’t know what will happen if I make a change. I need to know before acting. It is too late.
And then the resistance to consider not acting, for now. In this case, I need to make a change right away. I cannot wait.
- what is not OK about it? (the situation, as it is)
- what is not OK about changing it? (doing something to change it)