Resistance to don’t know can show up in different ways…
If I want to know, but can’t find a story to land on, there is a sense of confusion. Identification with a desire to know without finding a good candidate story, creates a sense of confusion.
If I want to know, and find a story that can play the role, I may take it as true. I pretend it is true, and live as if it is true. I make it true for myself in my mind and life, as well as I can. And life plays along as well as it can.
In both of these cases, identification with a resistance to don’t know is identification within content of experience, creating a sense of I and Other. In the first case, Other is the desired and elusive story of knowing. In the second case, Other is any story threatening the apparent truth of the story I decided to cling to as true.
And all of that applies to this as well. These stories are just pointers, questions, something to explore. What I find is another question.
There is no truth to any of these stories., including this one. At most, they can be pointers (apparently) helpful in some situations and not other.
When I go into knowing, there is automatically a sense of I and Other. A sense of being located in time and space. A sense of something – a story and its identity – to protect. A sense of substance and reality in the story.
When I allow it all – including the resistance to don’t know – there is a sense of opening in all directions. Not being located anywhere in particular. Receptivity. Curiosity. No story or identity to protect.
- don’t know
- always there, w/in stories and as what we are
- when resist
- and want it to change, seek mental clarity, creates a sense of confusion
- and take a story as true, then cling to that story as true, live as if it is