Not what it appears to be

Things and experiences may appear a certain way, as a glass, cat, music, pain, emotions, an object, an experiencer, a sense of self.

But what do I find when I investigate them here and now? What do I find when I explore those that seem the most clearly defined, easily labeled, real, solid and stable?

Right now, there is an experience of a slight, dull pain at the base of the scull on the right side, and a slightly sharper pain at the left temple.

When I actively resist the experience, I find that the pain appears more solid, real, stable and easily labeled. There is also more of a sense of separation to it, and of a doer and observer that is separate from it. (Or trying to separate itself from it.)

I shift into an allowing of the experience as it is with a friendly curiosity. I notice it continues to shift location, size and characteristics. Soon, there is a sense of more space around and within it. It is not as solid as it appeared initially. Less fixed. It is something I cannot so easily label. The sense of separation softens and diminishes.  A slight sense of joy comes up. A friendliness towards the experience. A nurturing fullness from it. Appreciation for it, as it is whether it is resisted or allowed with curiosity.

I then explore it through each sense field. Nothing there in taste, sight or smell. In the sensation field, it is pure sensation. Wordless. In the mental field, I find an image of the location and boundaries of the pain, which shifts with the changes in sensation. The image is also of the qualities of the pain, whether dull or sharp, stable or pulsing, penetrating or soft. Combined, sensations and images create a sense of a solid, real and relatively stable whole. When explored separately, the sense of solidity goes out of it. Within each sense field, it is recognized as awareness itself. As awareness appearing as form to itself. Ephemeral. Free of substance. Empty, awake, form, awake to itself, free to create appearances of solidity, substance, stability, gestalts taken as real in themselves.  A wordless mystery that cannot truthfully be labeled, not even as that.

What about the explorer and observer? What do I find there?

The explorer is located in the head area, as an image of a head superimposed on sensations in the head area, and especially in the upper throat. There is a sense of solidity there. Substance. Reality. When explored as it appears in sensation and mental fields, it is revealed as something quite different. As pure sensation. As images. And as a combination of those two, giving it a sense of reality, of really being there. There are also images creating a link between what is explored and the explorer, and if what is explored is close in space to the explorer, other images will displace the explorer in space so there is more space again, more room for the images of a relationship to come in.

I sink into this experience of an explorer, and it softens. What is left is an experience of an observer. This observer is located around the head, almost like a fuzzy shell, and also in the eye region of the head. There is an image of the relationship between this observer and whatever it observes or experiences. And here too, the need for space between those images, so if what is observed is too close in space to the observer, other images comes in to displace the images of an observer in space. Also, the images of an observer close to the location that is being observed is de-emphasized, and images of an observer in other locations are emphasized and come more to the foreground.

When I explore the observer in the sensation field, it is pure sensation, just like any other sensation. Content of experience. As images, it is around the head and in the area of the eyes, and here too, they are as any other images and content of experience. Noticing this, and staying with this noticing, there is a softening of identification with this observer. Identification softens into the whole field of experience. All of that is what I am.

I realize that what initially appears one way can appear quite differently when explored in this way, with a friendly curiosity. It may reveal itself as not so solid, real, substantial or well defined. Pain may not really be pain, in the way it initially appeared. And so also with emotions, or objects in the wider world, or even the sense of a doer, observer and subject and object.

Exploring it a little more closely, it may reveal itself as a wordless mystery. And what I (already) am may reveal itself as the field of experience and as wordless mystery.

…………….

outline….

  • not what it appears to be (experiences, phenomena)
    • resistance = solidify, stabilize, make it look more clear cut
    • sense fields, how appears in each one
      • also w/out the label
      • and how senses & images combine to form gestalts, wholes, that appear solid, real in themselves
    • is awareness itself, emptiness itself, mystery (mystery in the form of the play of awake emptiness)
    • also, appears to happen to someone, object and subject, experienced and experiencer
      • explore through the sense fields, notice the experiencer as an image and content of experience, and the experienced as already awake to itself

draft….

Phenomena may appear a certain way,  as a glass, cat, music, pain, emotions, an object, an experiencer, a sense of self.

But what do I find when I investigate them in immediacy? What do I find when I explore those that seem the most clearly defined, easily labeled, real, solid and stable?

Right now, there is an experience of a slight, dull pain at the base of the scull on the right side, and a slightly sharper pain at the left temple.

When I actively resist the experience, I find that the pain appears more solid, real, stable and easily labeled. There is also more of a sense of separation to it, and of a doer and observer that is separate from it. (Or trying to separate itself from it.)

I shift into a allowing of the experience as it is with a friendly curiosity. I notice it continues to shift location, size and characteristics. Soon, there is a sense of more space around and within it. It is not as solid as it appeared initially. Less fixed. It is something I cannot so easily label. The sense of separation softens and diminishes.  A slight sense of joy comes up. A friendliness towards the experience. A nurturing fullness from it. Appreciation for it, as it is whether it is resisted or allowed with curiosity.

I then explore it through each sense field. Nothing there in taste, sight or smell. In the sensation field, it is pure sensation. Wordless. In the mental field, I find an image of the location and boundaries of the pain, which shifts with the changes in sensation. The image is also of the qualities of the pain, whether dull or sharp, stable or pulsing, penetrating or soft. Combined, sensations and images create a sense of a solid, real and relatively stable whole. When explored separately, the sense of solidity goes out of it. Within each sense field, it is recognized as awareness itself. As awareness appearing as form to itself. Ephemeral. Free of substance. Empty, awake, form, awake to itself, free to create appearances of solidity, substance, stability, gestalts taken as real in themselves.  A wordless mystery that cannot truthfully be labeled, not even as that.

What about the explorer and observer? What do I find there?

The explorer is located in the head area, as an image of a head superimposed on sensations in the head area, and especially in the upper throat. There is a sense of solidity there. Substance. Reality. When explored as it appears in sensation and mental fields, it is revealed as something quite different. As pure sensation. As images. And as a combination of those two, giving it a sense of reality, of really being there. There are also images creating a link between what is explored and the explorer, and if what is explored is close in space to the explorer, other images will displace the explorer in space so there is more space again, more room for the images of a relationship to come in.

I sink into this experience of an explorer, and it softens. What is left is an experience of an observer. This observer is located around the head, almost like a fuzzy shell, and also in the eye region of the head. There is an image of the relationship between this observer and whatever it observes or experiences. And here too, the need for space between those images, so if what is observed is too close in space to the observer, other images comes in to displace the images of an observer in space. Also, the images of an observer close to the location that is being observed is de-emphasized, and images of an observer in other locations are emphasized and come more to the foreground.

When I explore the observer in the sensation field, it is pure sensation, just like any other sensation. Content of experience. As images, it is around the head and in the area of the eyes, and here too, they are as any other images and content of experience. Noticing this, and staying with this noticing, there is a softening of identification with this observer. Identification softens into the whole field of experience. All of that is what I am.

I realize that what initially appears one way can appear quite differently when explored in this way, with a friendly curiosity. It may reveal itself as not so solid, real, substantial or well defined. Pain may not really be pain, in the way it initially appeared. And so also with emotions, or objects in the wider world, or even the sense of a doer, observer and subject and object.

Exploring it a little more closely, it may reveal itself as a wordless mystery. And what I (already) am may reveal itself as the field of experience and as wordless mystery

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