Beliefs and ambivalence

 

As soon as I believe a story, there is ambivalence.

I believe I need people to love me.

So I seek it out, I enjoy it when it is here.

But also, I am afraid I won’t have, I am afraid I will lose it, I get into strategies for getting it, I put on masks.

I believe I made a mistake.

So I experience regret, sadness.

But also, I feel I am taking care of myself by having that story.

So in each case, for whatever belief I look at, I find ambivalence. It seems it may be an inevitable effect of taking a story as true, of taking any story as true.

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outline….

  • beliefs and ambivalence
    • believe a story
      • f. ex. I need more money
        • want money, happy when get it
        • but also, afraid I won’t have enough, afraid of losing it
      • I need people to love me
        • seek it, enjoy it when is here
        • but again, afraid I won’t have it, afraid I will lose it, get into strategies for getting it, put on masks
      • I made a mistake
        • regret, sadness
        • also, feel I am taking care of myself by having that story
    • so as soon as I believe a story, there is ambivalence

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