Inquiry: I need it to happen

 

I need it to happen. (A thought that can come up in any situation, any area of life.)

  1. True?
    Yes. I can find where that story feels true.
  2. Sure?
    No. It is just an opinion.
  3. What happens when I believe that story?
    • I wait for something to happen. I get impatient. Restless. My thoughts go into the future.
    • I wonder when it will happen. I wonder how it will look. I wonder if it will happen. I wonder what may happen instead. I get caught up in these images.
    • I want to be somewhere else. I want something else to be here. I want it to be different. I am dissatisfied with what is here now.
    • What do I fear would happen if I didn’t have that story? I fear it won’t happen. I fear I won’t do what is necessary to make it happen. I fear it won’t happen unless I do something specific. I fear I will miss out.
    • What do I get for holding onto that belief? Stress. Restlessness. Attention going into stories about the future.
  4. Who would I be without it?
    • OK with what is. Appreciating what is here now.
    • Attention going into stories about future, present, past, without getting lost there. Attention going to those stories in a more functional way.
    • Attention attending to what is here now, recognizing it is happening here now.
  5. Turnarounds.
    • I don’t need it to happen.
      • No. I am OK now, so don’t need it to happen.
      • I don’t know if it is what is best for me. It is just an assumption – colored by culture, traditions, personal experiences.
      • Something else may be better for me, from many perspectives. Including perspectives I see as more mature, insightful.
    • My thinking needs it to happen.
      • Yes, when I have that belief, my thinking needs it to happen. It produces new thoughts supporting the initial story, telling me it needs to happen.
    • I need it to not happen.
      • Yes. That is even more true.
      • If it does not happen, I get to face my beliefs, my expectations. It is an invitation to notice the belief and the dynamics around it, including what happens when I believe in it. If it did happen, the belief would stay more invisible to me.
      • I only believe I need it to happen due to (other) beliefs adopted from culture, traditions and personal experiences. Who is to say that these beliefs are more “accurate” or helpful than other stories? I may well find other stories and perspectives far more mature and helpful. And from these perspectives, what happens instead may be better than what didn’t happen.

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