Invitation to let go of anchor points

 

During the nights now, there is a sense of all drifting. Of all being in flow. It pulls any sense of having a sense of solid ground to stand on with it, which makes it difficult to hold onto a sense of a separate “I” – a center located in space and anchored on particular sensations.

It may be because I still have a very low grade flu.

In any case, it is an invitation to notice that ground – or those anchor points – for a sense of a separate I. To explore the dynamics around it, and notice what happens when it – the image of a doer/observer and the sensations it is anchored on – is noticed as content of experience just like any other content of experience.

I also notice the slight fear that comes up , and how comfortable that sense of a center seems. It is familiar. Has been around for a long time. (With some vacations.) And there are stories saying that something terrible will happen if identification is released out of it, if I find myself as the mystery all content of experience is the play of.

I don’t notice it much during the day since attention then has many places to go. But during the night, the flow of content goes into the foreground, pulling – almost – anchors, ground and “I” out to sea with it.

When I resist, it is uncomfortable. When I find curiosity and allow it as it is, it is quite different.

And when attention goes to the murmurs of fear, allowing it as it is with kindness, the sense of the flow and pull as “other” softens and falls away.

This is an example of how anything in our daily life is an opportunity for exploration. In this case, a slight fewer – if that is what is behind it – creates a sense of all content of experience as flow, and that is an opportunity to notice what resists that flow, which is the identification with images of a doer/observer overlaid on sensations in the head area, and especially in the roof at the back of the mouth and the upper throat.

There is an infinity of things to explore here.

The dynamics around resisting and allowing the experience.

What happens when I notice the fear, and when I resist/identify with it or notice and allow it as it is, with kindness.

The facets of the one “fixed” point which is the gestalt of a doer/observer, an image of a doer/observer overlaid on sensations in the head area.

The difference between identifying with it, taking it as what I am, and noticing the images/sensations as content of experience as any other content of experience.

Noticing how the gestalt of doer/observer images and sensations can appear quite solid when identified with. How it is revealed as insubstantial when noticed. And how only a story – an image – of substance makes it appear substantial and solid when identified with. (The gestalt serves as a cue for an overlay of a story of substance, which then appears as substantial – until attention is brought to it with curiosity and some simple guidance.)

Noticing that what I really am is the whole field of experience, and that which this field happens within and as. That which can – very inadequately – be described as no-thing allowing all things, no identification allowing identification, and so on. The play of awake no-thing, and a play which includes identification with doer/observer, and a release of identification with the images of a doer/observer. The play that allows any and all experience just as it is.

…………….

outline….

  • invitation to let go of anchor points
    • during the nights, sense of all drifting, difficult to hold onto anchor points of a sense of a separate “I” (a center, located in space, anchored on particular sensations)
      • an invitation, but also almost a “pull”
      • difficult to describe, sense of all floating, no anchor, no ground to stand on (for the image of a doer/observer + identification with it)
      • very gentle, persistent
    • during day, fine b/c attention is busy
    • uncomfortable when resist, interesting when find curiosity and allow it as it is

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