Inquiry: All here is tremendously silly

 

All here is tremendously silly. (All here in this journal.)

  1. True?
    Yes. It sometimes seems true. It feels true. Stories tells me it is true. I can find others who see it as true (at least in my mind).
  2. Sure it is true?
    No. It is just a thought, a viewpoint, an opinion – one of many possible, each one with some validity.
  3. What happens when I take that story as true?
    • I see this blog as silly – writing it, its content, its presence in the world. I feel that it is silly. I find reasons why it is silly. I imagine myself and others seeing it as silly.
    • I am embarrassed by it. I tell myself these are explorations that belong to the teen years, it certainly did for me. And now, when I should have matured way beyond it, I am still exploring these basic and simple things. Also, I don’t do the work to go deeper – to investigate beyond what is already familiar to me, to familiarize myself with traditions and what others have found. I am a 100% dilettante. I approach it in a very superficial way. I only skim the surface. I am saying and exploring almost exactly what I did as a teenager – as proven when I read what I wrote back then. I should be far beyond these things now.
    • When did I first have that thought? Several years ago, even when I started this blog and some time before.
    • What images comes up for me? Appearing silly to myself and others by exploring this. A teacher I talked with recently who told me very directly I have not made very good use of my skills and gifts (which is how I already see it).
    • What am I afraid would happen if I didn’t hold onto that belief? I am afraid others would see it as silly, not realize it, so not try to act in ways that may appear less silly. How likely is it? Well, it could happen. How important is it? Not very important. It would probably just be liberating.
  4. Who would I be without it?
    • Happy where I am. Happy with exploring naive and silly things. Happy with not being all that sophisticated. Happy with not being all that mature. Happy with not going all that deep. Happy with not doing the work to go beyond where I am.
    • And, ironically, that may free me to go further. Without the initial belief, I feel the a freedom and playfulness I used to have around these explorations. It is again an innocent and open exploration. The landscape is open. I am no longer stopping myself by the initial belief and my reactions to it.
  5. Turnarounds.
    • Nothing here is tremendously silly.
      • Right. Most of the topics are of some importance to most people, no matter their age.
      • It is maybe slightly silly, from some perspectives, but not necessarily tremendously silly.
      • For some, in some situations, it is not silly. For me, at times, it is not silly.
    • All here is tremendously OK.
      • Yes. It is innocent. It is where I am now, no matter how it may appear to myself or others.
      • Much of it are universal explorations, and some of us are a little slower than others. It is OK to be a little slow. It takes all types.
    • All here is slightly silly.
      • Yes, and it feels good to recognize that. Nothing here is meant to be taken very seriously. It is all innocent and slightly naive and silly explorations. If it seems helpful, then fine. And if not, that is 100% fine too.

Additional beliefs:

  • I don’t do the work to go deeper.
  • I approach it in a superficial way.
  • I only skim the surface.
  • I should be far beyond this.

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One thought on “Inquiry: All here is tremendously silly

  1. Silliness is just fine. Being where you are right now is just fine. It’s all fine as long as you judge, with honesty to yourself, that it is fine. But, that is easy to just say. I struggle all the time with the big, thick blurry line between what I believe is right for myself and what others think is right for myself.

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