Inquiry: I need it to be resolved

 

I need it to be resolved.

  1. True?
    It feels true. I can find stories supporting it. I can find others who agree. (At least in my mind.)
  2. Sure it is true?
    No. It is just an opinion.
  3. What happens when I take that thought as true?
    • I want it resolved. I want to do anything possible to resolve it. I want to clear up what I feel is a misunderstanding. I want an open and honest conversation about it, to get it all out in the open and clarify misunderstandings. I am frustrated since that don’t seem possible.
    • My thoughts keep going to this. I slightly obsess about it. I feel I need it resolved, and nothing other will quite do.
    • I run through imaginary conversations in my head, clarifying my side, and learning from the other person. I imagine how it will all resolve, and all that is needed is one relatively brief conversation. And again, frustration, since that does not seem possible.
    • What am I afraid would happen if I don’t have that belief? I am afraid it will remain unresolved. I am afraid I won’t learn from it what I could. Is that likely? Not when I do inquiry on it. That is one way to resolve it for myself, and learn from it – although in a different way than I initially wanted.
  4. Who would I be without it?
    • Present. Allowing experience as is. At peace with it.
    • Curious. Curious about what I can learn from it, as it is. Curious about what is better about this situation, compared with how I wished it would be. What is better about this? Maybe that I can find peace with it not being resolved as I initially hoped for. That’s life too. And that is another way of resolving it for myself. It may be even better since I already know how to resolve it the other way, but still have more to learn about this way of resolving it.
  5. Turnarounds.
    • I don’t need it to be resolved
      • Yes. I am doing fine without it being resolved. Realistically, I’ll forget about it soon anyway.
    • I need it to not be resolved
      • That may be more true, at least as long as it isn’t.
      • It helps me notice by beliefs around it, and find what is more honest for me.
      • It helps me to find other ways to resolve it for myself. As mentioned above, I already know how to resolve it through conversation. Now I have the opportunity to resolve it for myself, to find peace with it not being resolved the other way.
    • My thinking needs it to be resolved
      • Yes, that is the only “should” here.
    • I need it to remain unresolved
      • Yes. That is more true as well. When it remains unresolved in the way I initially wanted it resolved, it invites me to find other resolutions.
      • It invites my to resolve it for myself, as it is. To find peace with it being unresolved, in the initial way.
      • It helps me notice and inquiry into my beliefs around it, and find more clarity for myself.

This belief was only slight to begin with, but it also did feel at least partly true, and there was a slight tendency to obsess about it. Now, I see and feel how this may be better. I genuinely feel how this may be a better outcome. Of course, if the opportunity comes up to resolve it in the initial way, I’ll be very happy to do it. But as it is, this is good as well.

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