This is something I usually don’t write about or mention to anyone. Mainly because it is irrelevant to what is really important in life, and also because it is such a magnet for projections and misunderstandings. Also, it has little to do with the point of this post. But it does belong to the background info of this post.
Since the initial opening in my teens, many things has shifted for me. This includes seeing the energy in and around everyone and everything. Being able to invite in a deep and often amazing healing, including in cases that seem far beyond what this type of healing should be able to do something about. (Going to the form level next to emptiness, and inviting in a change of the images there which serve as a blueprint for what happens in the obviously physical world.) A quiet numinous voice that provide accurate guidance in everyday life. Visions about the future that later come to be in just that way. Very clear and specific dreams about the future, which each time come through. It is easy to dismiss all of these, especially for me who by nature am very skeptical about these things and much prefer the ordinary and practical. But each of these have been confirmed over and over, in so many different ways, over many years, so it is has become a part of my daily life.
I should also mention constant synchronicities of different types, including right now listening to a song where the lyrics goes “I have a feeling the end is near”. (It happened as I wrote the “The last several months….” paragraph below.)
Of course, this is just one source of information, and it gets included with and checked against more conventional sources of information. It is something to take into account, in an as level-headed and realistic way as possible. For instance, it can be quite helpful to take a look at the aura of spiritual teachers to see where they are at. The fully and stably awakened aura is quite distinct and easy to recognize. When I dreamed that our cat was hit by a car and killed, I kept him inside for some days, even if he still did die exactly that way the first day we let him outside again. Any information about the health conditions of someone, and what would help them, is something I check with the person. The quiet voice in daily life is checked with experience and common sense before acted on. And so on.
So to the topic of this post:
The last several months, there has been a sense of finality about my life. It is difficult to describe except as a complete and all-encompassing sense of no future. (No, not the “no future” in the “all is happening here now” sense, and even further from the “no future” in the despair or depression sense.)
I have also woken up in the early morning with a voice saying “you will not be around much longer”. This is the calm and quiet voice that has a numinous quality, can be checked against what actually happens, and in the past has turned out to be accurate.
This voice happened a few times last spring, and at the time, I thought it could mean one or more of three things: That I would physically move somewhere else. (Which happened a few months later, although I hadn’t planned or considered it at the time.) That I would physically die. (Could happen. It will one day. If this blog suddenly goes silent, you know why 🙂 ) Or that the identification with an “I” would go. (Could happen as well. It has in the past.)
Then to the point:
It doesn’t really matter what this means, if anything. Any or all of those three may happen, or none of them – at least for now.
What matters is how I relate to it and what I do about it.
And what I can do is make the best use of it that I know how.
In my case, I use it as a reminder of death, and of living as if I knew I would die soon. It brings a new clarity and focus to daily life, and helps straighten out the priorities. I also a further wearing off of beliefs around life and death.
That is its real value.
And that is the real value of anything happening.
- sense of no future (including in conventional sense)
- very unusual for me (used to it as all happening here now, including images about the future, but this is different, different to describe)
- make use of it
- familiar with own death
- sense of completion
- tie up loose ends