Taking responsibility

 

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Take responsibility for your choices and actions.

Taking responsibility for ones own choices and actions is an essential aspect of healing, maturing, and awakening. And so is differentiation.

In this case, there is a distinction between the innumerable causes for our choices and actions, and taking responsibility for our choices and actions.

Whatever I chose and do has innumerable causes, from the basic set-up of this universe to evolution to culture to family to fear, beliefs and confusion to circumstances such as the advice or expectations of others. There are many good and understandable reasons for why we chose and act as we do. That is one side of it.

The other side is our choices and actions themselves. If we don’t take full responsibility of our own choices and actions, we are out of integrity. We end up blaming fear, beliefs, confusion, or the wider world for our own choices and actions, and this easily creates stress and dissatisfaction. We are out of alignment with reality, and life tells us so through discomfort. When we take full responsibility for our own choices and actions, there is a sense of clarity, honesty, and of coming home.

The question is, of course, who is taking responsibility? There is really just the idea or story of taking responsibility, but that idea and story has a big impact. It is a very helpful story, and brings a very important realignment of our view, attitude, and approach to life in general.

As usual, these are all questions for own exploration.

Can I find a choice or action in my life that I would have done differently now? What happens if I place responsibility for that choice and action on others or the wider world? What happens when I take full responsibility for my own choice and action? How do I live my life differently? How does it feel?

And I can take it further. I can notice when I complain, or blame others or life, even in small ways. See if I put the responsibility for my own choices and actions in the wider world. And notice what happens if I shift into taking full responsibility for my own choices and actions. How is it to live from this?

Note: Taking responsibility for my own choices and actions is refined as I go along. It includes, for instance, taking responsibility for how I relate to inner and outer situations – to my own experience, emotions, thoughts and so on, and also whatever happens in the wider world. It includes taking responsibility for not acting in certain situations. For staying with a situation or allowing a situation to contiune. And it includes taking responsibility for my own choices and actions when it seems – at first glance – that circumstances “dictated” the choice. Even then, there are always options, especially in how we relate to the inner/outer situation, and it is always I who chose and act.

Note 2: Of course, these choices and actions happen on their own, they have infinite causes, and it can be very helpful to notice that, especially as it happens. It helps us notice that the “I” is just an idea, and image, and this image is not responsible for what happens. And yet, it is also essential to take full responsibility for ones own choices and actions in a conventional sense, something that becomes clear as we examine the consequences of not taking responsibility (blame, complaining, sense of powerlessness, apathy, out of integrity) and taking responsibility (sense of coming home, integrity).

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  • taking responsibility for own choices and actions
    • differentiate
      • differentiation, a central part of healing/maturing
        • f.ex. differentiate story & belief/identification w. the story
        • or …
      • innumerable causes
        • immediate: belief, fear, confusion, sense of pressure, living up to an image, other’s expectations etc. (all the usual ones)
        • further out: family and cultural patterns, evolution etc.
      • and taking the choice/action + their consequences
    • explore
      • when don’t take responsibility for own choices/actions
        • stress, tension, sense of having to defend a story/identity
        • blame others/circumstances/life/god
      • when do
        • “ownership” of the choice/action, so have the possibility to change it – not at the mercy of external forces
        • humbling, relief, sense of coming home
    • go through areas of life
      • the ones complain about, blame others/life
      • then see my own choices and actions
        • acknowledge the influences on these + may come from fear, beliefs, confusion
        • and take responsibility for own choices and actions, and their consequences

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– use it as a question, starting point for exploration  – goes beyond being just a familiar advice
– what do I find in my own life? – effects of one and the other
– can I take it further?

– differentiate
— infinite causes
— take responsibility for own choices/actions
– essential in healing, maturing, waking up

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– taking responsibility for own choices and actions
— belief -> complain | taking responsibility -> removes the impulse to complain, removes some energy behind the initial belief

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Two important parts of exploration is differentiation and taking a closer look.

Taking responsibility is a good example of both.

We “all” know that it is good to take responsibility for our own choices and actions.

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Take responsibility for your choices and actions.

It is a common advice, and one that gets more interesting the more I explore it.

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– taking responsibility for own choices and actions, including how relate to inner/outer situations

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