Inquiry: The shouldn’t use babysitting mentality

 

They shouldn’t use babysitting mentality.*

  1. True?
    Yes. I can find where it feels true. I can find thoughts saying it is true. In my mind, I can find others who agree.
  2. Sure it is true?
    No. It’s just a feeling. An opinion.
  3. What happens when I believe that thought?
    • I feel and tell myself they shouldn’t use babysitting mentality, and they do.
    • I find evidence for how what they are doing reflects a babysitting mentality.
      • They assume people have very little experience or knowledge, and act on this assumption without checking with them first.
      • They filter and clean up the information they give people, hiding information and views they think people can’t handle.
      • They teach at a relatively low level, instead of teaching at the highest level and inviting people to stretch and grow into it.
      • There is a sense that they are talking down to people, and that it is a conscious strategy.
    • I compare them with others who I see as not falling into the babysitting mentality.
      • Byron Katie, Adyashanti, Kanzeon and other teachers and groups assume people are smart, can take care of themselves, and can handle any information that is presented in a clear and honest way. They don’t try to hide information or gloss over, and they don’t talk down to people.
    • I find evidence for why babysitting mentality is wrong.
      • It reflects a fundamental lack of trust in people’s ability to filter, digest, and handle information.
      • It removes an opportunity for people to learn and grow, and learn how to deal with whatever they are withholding.
  4. Who would I be without it?
    • Curious. Receptive. Interested.
    • Interested in exploring this further. What are the benefits in talking down to people? Hiding certain information? Teach at a low level? When may it be appropriate? When is it more appropriate to speak to people as if they were at your own level?
  5. Turnarounds.
    • They should use babysitting mentality.
      • It helps me see my own hangups and fixed views around these things.
      • It may help someone, perhaps completely new people at the very beginning of their exploration. (I suspect not, but it is possible!)
    • I shouldn’t use babysitting mentality.
      • The advice is for me. When I complain to myself about this, instead of taking it up with the people concerned, I am treating them as babies. I don’t trust that they can receive and make use of that information in a healthy and appropriate way. (Although when I have voiced my concerned around this, it has been dismissed right out…)
    • I should level with myself and others.
      • Yes. That feels most true. I am the one who should treat myself and others as being at my own level.

* A local spiritual group, and the bodywork center.

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