Implied even in positive judgments is an idea of yourself as someone who is limited—someone who needs good things to happen to be okay and feel adequate. There’s nothing wrong with something good happening; it’s just that even your positive judgments are small truths that are based on a small idea of your self. Your Heart will contract just as much for a small positive truth as for a small negative truth.
A friend of mine posted this on facebook. It is a good reminder that any belief we hold about ourselves, others, or life, makes us, others, or life smaller and more confined than what we really are.
When I have a story about someone or something, and recognize it as a story, then it only highlights a feature or characteristic. It can be helpful, it can help us find it in ourselves, and it enriches our experience of ourselves, others, and life. It is just one feature, and I recognize the validity in other stories as well including the exact opposites.
And as soon as I make it into a belief and something exclusive, it is limiting. Any one of us, and life in general, is always different from and more than any story.
I am smart. Yes, I can find that. And yet, that is only one feature. I am also pretty stupid at times. And any other story I have about others or life also fits. I can recognize and get to know more and more of this fullness, and also work with these stories in a conventional way. Compared with others, any one of these characteristics will be relatively more or less prominent. And yet it is here as part of a fullness or characteristics. And the mystery that is behind it all. Any story is just a story, helping me to recognize and explore certain features. There may be some validity to it in a conventional sense, but no absolute truth, and there doesn’t have to be one either. It is freeing when there is no absolute truth in these stories. It allows me to play with them more freely and in ways that seem more helpful in the situation.