Need for love

 

If I don’t love myself, I will try to fill the hole with the love from others. But I cannot receive  or trust this love. In my mind, I cannot understand how someone else can love me when not even I can.

If I love myself, I can receive and trust it from others. It is easy to imagine others loving me, because I already do. I don’t need it from them, but it becomes icing on the cake. Something good is even better.

This self-love has to be honest. I have to first be honest with myself about what is here, all of it – what I like and don’t like. I have to see and explore it in detail. Stay with it and feel it over time. Open my heart to it. And through that find genuine appreciation and love for it. That’s the only way for me to love myself. It is an ongoing process. There is always something new revealed.

And others are a mirror for me here, I find new sides of myself through first noticing it in others.

There are two side-benefits of genuine self-love.

I can receive and trust the love of others.

And I can love others as myself, because I first know and love what I see in them in myself.

Source: Byron Katie talks about this on cd 6 of Your Inner Awakening.

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  • need for love
    • need for love from oneself
    • then, receptive for love from others but don’t need it – becomes icing on the cake

– if don’t love oneself as is, then try to fill the hole with the love of others, but cannot receive it, cannot believe it b/c don’t love oneself
– if love oneself, then don’t need it from others, but can receive it and it becomes icing on the cake

– open mind = open heart (love)

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initial draft….

If I don’t love myself, I will try to fill the hole with the love from others. But I cannot receive  it, and I cannot believe in or trust it, because I don’t love myself. In my mind, I cannot understand how someone else can love me when not even I can?

If I love myself, then I don’t need it from others. But I can receive it, and it becomes icing on the cake.

And this self-love has to be honest. I have to first be honest with myself with what is here, all of it – what I like and don’t like. I have to see it, in detail, feel it over time, and through that find genuine appreciation and love for it. That’s the only way for me to love myself. And it is an ongoing process. There is always something new revealed.

And others are a mirror for me here, I find new sides of myself through first noticing it in others.

There are two side-benefits of genuine self-love. I can receive and trust the love of others. And I can love others as myself, because I first know and love what I see in them in myself.

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