It takes effort to believe

 

It takes effort to believe.

When I believe a story, I must actively maintain this belief, even if I am not completely aware of it. I remind myself about the belief, fuel it, defend it, prop it up.

I must actively resist the truth in stories that don’t fit the belief,  and that I really don’t know. I deny the truth in stories that appear incompatible. I don’t notice or acknowledge that I really don’t know.

Whenever my inner guidance is at odds with my beliefs, I must actively resist it. I resist acknowledging or acting on my inner guidance, and this tends to create a great deal of inner turmoil which I also may resist.

And when I believe certain stories about an experience, I must actively resist that experience as well. I have stories about emotions, discomfort or pain, saying – in essence – that something terrible will happen if I fully allow the experience, if I allow it to flow through without resistance.

I have glimpses of this in everyday life, and when there is an opening or shift into selflessness, it becomes even more obvious. It is shocking how much energy goes to beliefs, and amazing how well I am able to function even with all my beliefs.

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– actively maintain a belief
– resist reversal of belief + don’t know
– resist truth, inner guidance (b/c of belief, caught up in fear)
– resist experience (emotion, discomfort, pain)

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– belief = effort
— resisting experience, resisting what’s more true than the belief
– allowing experience + clarity around stories = possible to release/drop the effort
– notice this in everyday life, and especially when there is an opening/glimpse/stable awakening
– recognizing what we are, often accompanied with recognizing the huge effort involved in maintaining/living from beliefs (b/c are at odds with who and what we are, with reality)

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It takes effort to believe.

When I believe a story, I must actively – at some level – maintain this belief, and also resist the truth in its reversals and that I really don’t know.

And when I believe a story about an experience, I may actively resist that experience as well.

…………

It takes effort to believe.

When I believe a story, I must – at some level – actively maintain this belief.

I must actively resist the truth in its reversals and that I really don’t know.

I must actively resist my inner guidance, when my belief is at odds with it – which it inevitably will be.

And when I believe certain stories about an experience (an emotion, discomfort, pain), I must actively resist that experience as well.

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